Intimacy: Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts...

By Oops54321 - 28/09/2009 07:12 - France

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 725

You deserved it 33 263

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Same thing different taste

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 912

By yup - 05/06/2011 07:23 - United States

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 205

You deserved it 57 250

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 976

You deserved it 10 760

By Stuby14 - 23/11/2015 14:31 - United States - Brookings

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 304

You deserved it 5 787

By Peter Steele love - 18/10/2015 00:49 - United Kingdom - Clevedon

Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 143

You deserved it 19 031

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 8 259

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 542

You deserved it 24 118

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 4 817

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

Candidly

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 04:06 - Canada - London

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 028

You deserved it 7 358

glostik 0

Monday 28 September 2009 16:45

Smooth... Here's some advice: Don't go to her house ever again. Why? Because her dad will be waiting with a baseball bat and you, you will be DEAD. So yeah.. Don't go to her house!

GraceMonica 8

Monday 28 September 2009 16:30

shulda just watched some ****...

Comments

WonderBlunder 0

Monday 28 September 2009 19:33

@#11: or c) they were having fun with the vibrating phone.

ashblueeyez14 0

Monday 28 September 2009 19:38

next time you text someone wait for a reply BEFOR sending another text

lifesabitch18 0

Monday 28 September 2009 20:02

haha i agree with # 6 it would be in your best interest to never ever see her dad for as long as you live or try to play it cool and say your asshole friends took your photo and photoshopped it and sent to your girl as a joke maybe he'll believe that but i hope your a fast runner in case he decided to go with the original plan and tries to kill you

tipsy337 0

Monday 28 September 2009 22:08

fail

Piejamas 0

Monday 28 September 2009 22:57

text him back saying they weren't for his daughter ;)

ellajanson 5

Thursday 21 April 2011 5:01

lol!!!!!! finally a funny one lol

GodsOfWrath 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:49

This is why parents should not get their 13 year old daughters cell phones... because of middle-aged wierdies like this guy.

arichan_fml 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 17:00

dude she's probably a teenager with a dad who (like mine) doesn't want to admit she's growing up. but still, OP deserves it because that's disrespectful to a girl who had morals. if his gf doesn't, then congrats, OP, you're dating a *****! >.<

fringle 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 0:15

I said ydi right after "I was feeling horny"

tf90 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 7:17

Dude I'm so sorry. Hahaha I've always been scared that sort of shit would happen to me. Or I'm just scared I'll send an inappropriate text to someone else.

RagePX 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 9:15

go there, punch that guys face, bang the chick and her mom and never call again ! that douche deserves it for writing you a gay poem "step away from my little girl" >.< he should have said smthg like "ill rip ya head off punk!" peace out