Assert your dominance. Any time you caught someone looking, stare them dead in the eye and smirk.

Did you forget about the waistband tuck?

Did anybody took a video of that. Then it will go viral :).. I know you will be embarrassed..

Hope it didn't slow you down too much! Those seconds really matter.

I've read that if you force yourself to stop breathing for a minute or two, your boner should disappear. Unfortunately, I'm a girl and don't know if it works...

If it's small there will be little water resistance. So you should be set!

Keels are very important to nautical stability. Put a fin on it, and go for the gold!

I would have swam on my back and made it look like a shark fin sticking out of the water. Gotta make the best of a bad situation, am I right?

Protip: to deal with boners, tense up every bone in your body. When you do that, the blood goes to those muscles, and leaves the penis.

Always wear a cup, no matter the sport, always wear a cup