By anonymous - 04/11/2014 12:03 - Canada - North Vancouver

Spicy
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 243
You deserved it 8 494
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Top comments

xleanne_aLly 23

Buy him and yourself baby whipes OP. I thought it sounded weird first too. But I have a lot of friends with babies, who obviously own baby whipes. She (and now myself) use them after toilet paper, when she's on her period or a poop. Her boyfriend uses baby whipes after he poops too. It makes sense right? Ohana, it means nothing is left behind or forgotten Neither of you will have this problem again.

134 5

Comments

miianah1 22

lol what did you do after that?? Giggle and casually pick it out?

44 4
TrippingOnAcid 29

My ex used to have dried shit encrusted onto the hair around his butthole...ain't it fun

26 89
brokenjawskhan 21

#13 Eww, That's gross you ruined my day. So ******* disgusting. X_X

64 4
Saraj07 18

You really didn't need to share that.

28 2
TrippingOnAcid 29

And OP didn't need to share this...what's the difference?

32 8
elcee1987 18

Lol tmi or not, you had to see it! Glad he's an ex

11 1
davincidasecond 24

Woooow, WAY too much info, lady. I got enough unpleasant images in my head reading the fml, I don't need anymore. And I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that. Wow, that's nasty.

6 2
pussystank 18

Why were you that close to your EX's asshole?

4 7
MzZombicidal 36

Probably because different people are into different sexual things, #116. Simple as that. This FML is an example of how you can be that close as well...

3 1
Hiimhaileypotter 52

#116 Probably because they were together when she found out, but NOW they are ex's...

2 0
FreeRunn3r 12

I understand that's a thing but you're being to blunt for an fml site.

0 1
Classy_Persian 0

Yuck this is why I don't do oral guys @-@

11 56
tony1891 22

WHAT?! oral is the better than a cup of coffee and a shower. as long as that persons clean.

9 26
BBlah 26

#30 - although it's rare, not everyone's into oral

26 3
Lil_Red777 21

I'm not particularly fond of giving oral but I do like receiving it so I'm polite. But if my fiance ever had toilet paper stuck to his ass like that I'd make him shower immediately.

14 3
truckers_wife 23

That happened to me once. We were traveling over the road and public restroom toilet paper falls apart so easily. I learned my lesson after that. If I use poor quality toilet paper I make sure I'm clean!

26 2
bigphil75 4

Got that right! I 2ND that gurbism I use wipes myself gotta stay fresh n clean ?!

2 3
tony1891 22

alrighty then. pass the brain bleach please!

30 3
brendejafulable 41

Next time maybe wait until he showers.. so you know he should be cleaner.

24 1
martin8337 35

He needs to learn how to wipe his ass. Get rid of y he dingleberries.

5 7
Enslaved 36

I know some guys complain about going down on a girl and dealing with those TP fuzzy balls on their cooche. Tasting like baby wipes isn't any better. I grew up in a culture that we always own bidet. Well worth an investment at your local Home Depot!

22 4
GentlemanBastard 15

I've had a few instances of little pee flavored balls of tp in my mouth. It happens. You say "ew that's gross" and you carry on.

3 13
syed121417 22

I sometimes wonder why bidets weren't adopted into american culture as a normal thing. My uncle has a bidet in all of his bathrooms and I feel like more people would benefit from it. It's a bit more money, but definitely worth it.

9 1
truckers_wife 23

can someone fill us in on what a "bidet" is?

1 6
Enslaved 36

It's used to wash your booty. There are bidet attachments that you can hook up to your standard toilet. No excuse not to be clean down there when it's sexy time.

7 1
truckers_wife 23

You hook it up to your toilet... does that mean it uses toilet water? I don't know if I like the whole idea of this device...

1 4