That's Mexican for you

First, are you sure it was just your cooking and not bad ingredients? If you cook poorly to start with and use spoiled products on top of that, that would explain the level of discomfort you're in. I mean, you shit your SOUL by the sound of it. And I hope you hydrated very well after, that much spewing from the rear is why people die of dysentery and no one wants to go out like an Oregon Trail reference.

did u cook or undercook..still curious to know what exactly you tried to cook..

It's ok my farther-in-law used to be a"chef" i rather eat from the garbage. I'm sorry OP

Perhaps this was a case of IBS? Feel better OP.

One of those ***** you started saving toilet paper on huh

I haven't laughed so hard in years! thank you.

Talk about a shitty situation, lol.

ive always felt bad because i cant cook but now i dont want to

Sounds like you're having a very crappy day.