By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 449
You deserved it 11 656
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Skylae 14

I'm just wondering .. What did you cook ?

424 4
kurodansei 16

It's not that OP can't cook, OP just has a talent for biological warfare.

264 4

Comments

keirissleepy 10

pizza is always option. Or perhaps some cooking classes?

22 2
IxEaTxZoMBieZ 7

I don't think anyone has had that much diarrhea ever.

35 2
laden_swallow09 34

Yeah, like where does it all keep coming from??

11 1
kingdomgirl94 29

The question every sick person and every parent of a sick child asks.

28 1
SilverSet 16

Tell that to third world countries.

0 5
Soulsbane96_fml 11

He even said "my own asshole" which to me implies that he can still feel other people's.

36 1
LatvianPride 16

Wtf did you eat? A bag of Mexican chipolata burritos with molasses filling?

10 4
XTheDesertSongX 17

Chipolata? That's a new one.

5 2
PossiblyInDanger 24

Hopefully you didn't feed your food to anyone else. If you did, F their lives.

13 2
KingLewisII 34

If he did he's lucky he can't feel his ass anymore.

40 0
Soulless_95 20

I have severe irritable bowel syndrome, this is my almost everyday.

14 4
glabberfasted 16

Yikes. Have you tried any of the medications for IBS?

5 4
devildog3766 3

I feel you on that OP. It's just like that when starting a new protein shake lol

5 1