Intimacy: Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey...

By tehhotness - 27/03/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 797

You deserved it 6 793

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Same thing different taste

Someone else

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 20:00

I agree, your life sucks 4 193

You deserved it 383

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 438

You deserved it 6 295

By W T F - 03/06/2015 07:22 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 157

You deserved it 3 647

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 315

You deserved it 17 966

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 448

You deserved it 10 162

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 453

You deserved it 4 168

By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 328

You deserved it 45 470

By hoovered - 04/03/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 063

You deserved it 22 457

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 127

You deserved it 6 179

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 13 693

songstress4life 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:05

Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!

Shadowflames420 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:06

she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!

Comments

redsoxmisfits 0

Friday 27 March 2009 22:28

#22, just a hickey?! It's never JUST a hickey and even if that's how you see it...it was near her hip! Obviously something else is going on. Dude you better have ditched her, that's just wrong.

jennam_fml 4

Friday 27 March 2009 22:29

#36&39, curling iron burns happen alot, if you set it on your lap and it rolls (its happened before) its easy to get a burn without realizing until afterwards. I've done it with straighteners too. It could also easily be a bruise, I've slammed my hips into tables and chairs and get a nasty bruise.

genius_man16 0

Friday 27 March 2009 22:42

#33 is right. if it was something as innocent as a burn she would have said so. sorry m8, hope you dumped the ho

lucie_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 22:59

Well, you know what - that's life. AND its ******* funny, at that. Atleast you've got an honest girl. Personally, I wouldn't dump a guy if he was that straight up with me. She's NOT a hoe.

skizza_fml 3

Monday 8 April 2013 4:15

So a girl who cheats on her boyfriend and shows no remorse afterwards is not a hoe? I bet you're the type of girl that would do that, too, seeing as you're defending this cheating *****

greatnt249 0

Friday 27 March 2009 23:19

Who the hell gives someone a hickey on their hip? It was probably just a bruise, dude; it explains the nonchalant response. "If it wasn't a hickey then why would she say what she did?" The OP never said, "Wow, I don't remember giving you a hickey on your hip"; he said "I don't remember doing that." If she took it to mean "giving her that bruise," then her response is pretty reasonable. Vague, but reasonable. On a side note, if you're still giving hickeys OP, you might want to brush up on your skills with women.

podrummer9209 0

Friday 27 March 2009 23:38

bitch = 45, what's wrong with hickeys? Some guys, myself included, like being dominant from time to time, and seeing marks on your partner, knowing you put them there, is a really great feeling.

birds_fml 7

Friday 27 March 2009 23:49

Sometimes I get an itchy spot, and scratch it so much and so hard that it looks just like a hickey. And if you were going down on her, why would she take the time to explain what it was, when you didn't even say you thought it was a hickey, when she's trying to get off? "You didn't" is a quick, curt response to get you to stop talking and get back to business.

hiyaa 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 0:09

lol 47 don't be dumb, and if a bitch was conveying 'get the **** back down there' then it's still pretty messed up. #45 explains the misunderstanding that the OP (and the rest of us) had, it makes sense and fits into the immediate response and casual tone