Intimacy: Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey...

By tehhotness - 27/03/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 798

You deserved it 6 793

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Same thing different taste

Someone else

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 20:00

I agree, your life sucks 4 193

You deserved it 383

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 438

You deserved it 6 295

By W T F - 03/06/2015 07:22 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 159

You deserved it 3 647

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 315

You deserved it 17 967

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 448

You deserved it 10 162

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 453

You deserved it 4 168

By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 328

You deserved it 45 471

By hoovered - 04/03/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 063

You deserved it 22 458

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 130

You deserved it 6 179

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 13 694

songstress4life 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:05

Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!

Shadowflames420 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:06

she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!

Comments

Gringo_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 21:37

What u mean... I shave mine everyday U should have put itching powder all over her pussy

countrygal926 0

Friday 27 March 2009 21:40

A burn from a curling iron can look like a hickey, unfortunately.

kennalusk 0

Monday 21 November 2011 3:28

Do you curl your pubes?

fourwheelsoffury 0

Friday 27 March 2009 21:44

If it wasn't a hickey then why would she say what she did? Her careless response makes it pretty obvious what she was up to.

surt 0

Friday 27 March 2009 21:50

i hope you showed her the hickey on the back of your hand

TerAki 0

Friday 27 March 2009 21:51

This is when people should be able to hire a Chris Brown of their own.

marz88 0

Friday 27 March 2009 21:52

@ 32 Why the **** would anyone be curling any hair down there? We dont want it curled we want it gone..ish

bigcrazymike 6

Friday 27 March 2009 22:08

You shoulda kicked her out without her clothes.

zoomster 0

Friday 27 March 2009 22:08

I'm sorry you put your mouth down there, I hope you didn't catch anything! lol @ #15

abuu 0

Friday 27 March 2009 22:12

haha who shaves there hips honestly? I dont think anyone? and why the heck would you wants your hair down there curlly

secret_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 22:16

haha maybe it was a bruise?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 109

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

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You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, my younger brother called me saying he's getting married. Now, I have to attend my ex's wedding. I'm the best man. FML

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You deserved it 3 200

Today, I went to a tattoo artist to get what I thought would be really cute, elegant finger tattoos. I left with wobbly, blobby messes all over my fingers. FML

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You deserved it 2 740

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 279

You deserved it 4 595

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 125

You deserved it 5 300

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 796

You deserved it 5 187

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 710

You deserved it 5 851

Same thing different taste

Someone else

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