Intimacy: Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey...

By tehhotness - 27/03/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 797

You deserved it 6 793

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Someone else

By Anonymous - 30/01/2020 20:00

I agree, your life sucks 4 193

You deserved it 383

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 438

You deserved it 6 295

By W T F - 03/06/2015 07:22 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 157

You deserved it 3 647

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 315

You deserved it 17 966

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 448

You deserved it 10 162

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 453

You deserved it 4 168

By allalone - 14/07/2010 00:33 - United States

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 328

You deserved it 45 470

By hoovered - 04/03/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 063

You deserved it 22 457

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 127

You deserved it 6 179

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 13 693

songstress4life 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:05

Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!

Shadowflames420 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:06

she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!

Comments

Jaywin 3

Friday 27 March 2009 20:16

I wanna know how this ended. A girl once tried to tell me her hickeys were "burns". I wonder if your girl tried to play it off as something like that.

amirn86 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:22

I 2nd #11 - give us updates dude, I know you're on FML enough to do that lol

anon12_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:23

are you sure it wasn't just a bruise?

alwex 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:23

you shoulda whipped it out right there and stuck it in her ass

Tucatz 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:29

Take a deep breath, fasten your lips around her pussy and blow her up like a balloon.

Joo_bean16 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:30

Ew, what a frickin' *****. I'm so mad.

Asphyxiated_ 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:33

Maybe they're not in an exclusive relationship. And if they are, well, FYL.

CPTobvious_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 20:43

and you put your mouth there.... So then the next question is.... how did he taste in your mouth.... ha.... stop dating skanks... and get yourself tested

SaturnE_fml 0

Monday 14 June 2010 6:03

You don't give hickey's with yer dick... At least I don't, do you? Holy shit, have I been short-changed? TWICE ON THE SAME ITEM! DAMN YOU GENETICS/UNIVERSE/GREATER BEING!! DAMN YOU TO WHEREEVER IS UNPLEASANT FOR YOU TO BE!

crazymedic06 2

Friday 30 July 2010 21:57

you're missing a point. first you lick it then you stick it. don't know any man who just does down on a girl and doesn't get any. the hickey came before the spluge that the op lapped up.