Miscellaneous: Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I...

By Doomy - 07/01/2010 14:43 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 286

You deserved it 29 897

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 442

You deserved it 4 697

By pass_the_tp - 13/01/2010 02:57 - United States

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 5 530

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 622

You deserved it 2 732

By Anonymous - 06/02/2015 08:26 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 108

You deserved it 3 179

By yikes - 21/04/2012 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 161

You deserved it 3 779

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 290

By tori210 - 15/08/2017 16:00

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 474

You deserved it 711

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 715

You deserved it 35 136

Wiped out

By STIgary - 17/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 304

By Anonymous - 05/02/2015 15:32 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 430

You deserved it 2 795

inconvienentgurl 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 16:14

Why would you feel bad about wiping if there are butterflies PRINTED on the paper??

ScreamToday 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 16:18

I have to say, that's pretty sissified.

Comments

Starfire22 5

Thursday 7 January 2010 17:14

....

jayemdoubleyou 1

Thursday 7 January 2010 17:18

This is a MLIA not an FML.

kidcucumber 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 17:24

who the eff cares. you're probably fat

AntiChrist7 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 17:28

I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy poofs. If it weren't for cheesy poofs, we'd be lame! But as lame as this FML is impossible

tschoiuss 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 17:34

This is the most stupid thing I have ever read on this site. Why would thid be a FML? It should be more of a F and a U.

ItsMizz 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 17:36

This is pitiful. Not only did you feel this way about ink decorations on paper, but you also felt that this was important enough to share.

lalaland1513 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 18:11

wow. just wow that's one of the stupidest and lamest thing I've ever heard...

iggybu 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 18:13

MLIA > FML Those poor ink butterflies, smeared with all of your poop-bourne diseases, flushed away forever.

reneedel 4

Thursday 7 January 2010 18:14

I have posted MUCH better FMLs and they haven't been approved, yet this crap gets through?

Rocksygen 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 18:19

I know the feeling. FML's are becoming crap.

Pistoffcustomer 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 18:22

YLIA?

Keywords

Toxic Family Miscellaneous Food Love Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Kids Awkward Drugs Music Crush Lonely Relatable Wanker Intimacy Animals Cats Coworkers Work Embarrassing Sleep Transportation Airplanes Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 591

You deserved it 6 003

Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6 a.m. to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 2 760

The Top

Today, I bought a 37-pound sex doll on Amazon, just so I could cuddle it and cry myself to sleep, until she decides if she wants a divorce in three months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 309

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 741

You deserved it 460

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 099

You deserved it 37 179

Today my job started requiring all transactions regarding cigarettes or alcohol to have the ID scanned before proceeding. There is no way yo bypass this function. I carded a 60 year-old man and his 40 year-old son who both yelled at me for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 955

You deserved it 186

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 113

You deserved it 61 028

Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 860

You deserved it 7 428

Same thing different taste

Ring of fire

Wiped out

Top comments

Comments