Health: Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I...

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 715

You deserved it 35 131

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 348

By yikes - 21/04/2012 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 159

You deserved it 3 777

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 656

Confinement, episode 3774

By S3XY_SiNG3R - 11/04/2020 02:00

Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 2 067

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 131

You deserved it 53 799

By CallmeEddie - 14/11/2013 16:44 - United States - Joliet

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 893

You deserved it 4 909

By heyhijello - 09/09/2013 22:05 - United States - Oakland

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 077

You deserved it 12 727

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 326

You deserved it 7 654

TW: Gross

By sweet_stufz - 11/11/2010 13:30 - Canada

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 652

You deserved it 38 901

By highleyj - 01/04/2009 08:16 - United States

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 280

You deserved it 19 934

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 19 January 2011 12:30

That's not a drinking fountain? ****, I've been doing this all wrong.

MauriceWinifred 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 12:07

and that's why you buy one of those Japanese toilets.

Comments

persimmon 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 6:37

you're stupid.

King_of_Kings 3

Thursday 20 January 2011 11:26

I just get my cat to eat them. Just put Midnight down next to it and he will chow down. Oh, and before I get any "but what if the spider is poisonous? you just killed your cat" comments, I am going to save you the trouble by saying now that I do know which spiders are dangerous within my tri-state area. Excuse me, I gotta find Midnight, he needs a snack. - Cheers

fthku 13

Thursday 20 January 2011 12:45

Oh how vain you be, Mr. King, how vain you be.

sammyhell 0

Thursday 20 January 2011 18:06

Serves you right with your irrational fear. SmallTownCutie, shoot yourself. Ta.

ramboman19 8

Monday 24 January 2011 8:14

Here is what to do in a situation like this. Look under the bathroom sink. There is a 50% chance there is extra rolls under there. If not, well consider yourself ******. :)