By fingerhut - 03/03/2012 08:27 - United States

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 524
You deserved it 3 676

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running is the best solution to constipation

Top comments

That's what Tabloids are for nowadays anyway.

Lolol, at least it wasn't as bad as it could be, there will probably soon be another fml story from the guy whose yard you used

Comments

this happened to me once coming back from the store.... except I barely made it.... believe me, that shit was a close call.... no pun intended.

Ah! A dog sh!t in my yard!...wait...that looks more human...

OP went out to the shops to buy a newspaper, and jogged while they did it... Just think a little bit next time.

abbasgirl 3

84, I get the impression that you've never gone for a jog before if you think it's perfectly reasonable to jog for 20+ minutes with a newspaper in your hand. Get out there and try it and you'll see what I mean.

Regardless of what its like, no-one would just take a newspaper with them randomly. And thanks for that remark, was it a hint that I need to exercise more?

Most people learn this before age 5: Use the bathroom BEFORE you leave the house. You should write that down.

This happened to one of my family members too. I feel so bad for you, OP! That hast to suck hardcore

I know how that feels. We once had a school sport event at a field around two miles from the school itself. There were no bathrooms there, and I really, REALLY had to take a dump. But if I went back to the school, I'd miss my bus. So I had to walk back to the busstop, take a ride on it, and then walk home before I could shit around an hour later. Was not fun. At all.

ndnpride88 25

Sounds to me like you had a "SHITTY" situation lmfao

bubo_fml 10

I thought only Navy Seals did the whole "jog with a log" thing...

KiddNYC1O 20

Who would do that? The nerve...