By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 02:22 - United States - Purchase

Spicy
Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 601
You deserved it 9 162
Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

kaybows 14

Yeah, pretty sure masturbation's never been brought up in Doctor Who.

476 4

Comments

RainTears 15

honestly, i don't see why you would fap if you have no lock. There's always the bathroom

45 4
jessi_sunshine 26

Seriously, it's more like **** your sister's life. You saw a spider. She saw your dick.

21 1
zykrithium 22

More like **** Doctor Who's Life for having to be the butt of his terrible joke...

17 1
lemonadestand 7

F your sister's life. She's now probably traumatised for life. Let's just hope you didn't hurt yourself when you fell

85 3
Enslaved 36

That's not how the Spider-Man is normally done.

88 2
paravoz 30

Now we know from where he shoots the web...

17 3
iceykiller 8

Well there at least she won't be surprised from now on

3 9
9a_1z 12

They say 'wank' on Doctor Who now? Wow that show has changed since I last watched.

131 3
mariekitty 21

that's what I was thinking. I've never heard them use that word

12 1
rvontr88 21

I was thinking that as well. They talk about wearing a fezz and fish sticks and custard. And how grumpy 12 is....

13 0
Rababco 29

#6 Yeah, I'm pretty sure they've never said wank on Doctor Who. It's rated PG after all.

3 0
kaybows 14

Yeah, pretty sure masturbation's never been brought up in Doctor Who.

476 4
Doubtful_Judge 23

It was in one of the episodes, the doctor said "Geez get a girlfriend"

60 3
writergirl1029 17

Still a lot more subtle than saying "wank".

46 1
Hammer1722 19

I like how many people care more about the Doctor Who episode than the rest of the FML

57 4
jocamo 24

The Eleventh Hour! Poor Jeff didn't expect the Doctor to come in and see just what was on his laptop. "You might want to clear your browser history."

33 1
Kahli21 15

99% sure they haven't used the word "wank" ( specifically meaning **********, not wanker or something ) in Doctor Who. I voted YDI because OP is a ******* idiot for trying to associate Doctor Who with wanking like that. Especially when he could use a lot of other American slang for it, as they say they're from NY. As the rest of us Americans would say, "you ****** up bro".

1 1
joljenni 6

Seriously!? They're not saying Doctor Who talks about wanking. He was trying to be clever because Doctor Who is a British TV Show and masturbating is called wanking in British Slang. Some people just can't take a joke.

16 24
doodlecloud 26

41 I think a lot of people got the joke, they just thought it wasn't funny/was stupid/was unnecessary/was attention seeking. That was my first thought anyway.

22 1
tasteelingus 1

S05E01, "The 11th Hour" "Blimey! Get a girlfriend, Jeff." ....but you're right, the word "wank" never really appears.

4 1
joeyl2008 29

I don't remember them ever saying "wank" on Doctor Who.

66 2
maz08 11

I have never seen the episode of Dr Who where somebody has a wank...?

49 3
Jeffo193 13

Yes, and everyone saying, "When did they tall about wanking on Doctor Who?" is being sarcastic in return. Non-british people seem to think "wank" or "wanker" is a quaint little exclamation, like, "oh fiddlesticks!" But it's actually a very rude swear word.

14 3
doodlecloud 26

Actually British people are very casual about 'wank'...I mean you wouldn't say it to a kid, but it's not exactly a 'very rude swearword'.

7 1