Sex, Sextoys and Intimacy: Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be...

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 513

You deserved it 10 414

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hot and heavy

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 441

You deserved it 35 590

By XxMe123xx - 19/08/2010 00:51 - France

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 563

You deserved it 10 954

Phoney sex

By Anonymous - 09/03/2020 08:00

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 252

You deserved it 617

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 586

You deserved it 47 217

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 309

You deserved it 2 763

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 540

You deserved it 20 194

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 980

You deserved it 7 874

By Heyy - 24/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 118

You deserved it 12 074

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 765

You deserved it 15 175

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 966

You deserved it 12 726

Monjara 4

Saturday 12 May 2012 0:53

Lmao he's jealous of a vibrator.

llamafish 25

Saturday 12 May 2012 0:54

I hope you used protection. Wouldn't want to get hearing AIDS ;)

Comments

polkadot3155 6

Saturday 12 May 2012 2:56

Sorry op

harryshappynow 2

Saturday 12 May 2012 3:00

I dunno, I reckon it's a pretty big turn on when my gf uses her vibe during phone sex

midnight21 8

Saturday 12 May 2012 3:05

You deserve it for being overly explicit. Next time, look for a battery operated boyfriend. That way you won't lose your interest in an actual breathing person.

seaweedlady 0

Saturday 12 May 2012 14:28

"Overly explicit"...during phone sex. I think you're missing the point.

midnight21 8

Saturday 12 May 2012 3:06

Further more, if your interest lies in vibrating electrical home appliances, you might be interested in a blender.

meganb13 1

Saturday 12 May 2012 5:31

You are an idiot. All jokes aside.. A blender? Not even something plausible?

GothicAngel17 24

Saturday 12 May 2012 9:35

Wow dude, you seem to be stupid and small minded. So you're against women exploring their sexuality and enhancing their pleasure are you? Good luck with that.