Today, my brother put a sign on my car saying, "No baby on board,... - FML

By SSS - 14/02/2019 01:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my brother put a sign on my car saying, "No baby on board, feel free to drive into me." Somebody did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 231

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 12:37 - Australia - West End

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 770

You deserved it 3 084

By t-dawg - 09/05/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny if I put a 'Free if Hot-Wired' sign on my friend's car. I guess it worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 805

You deserved it 84 424

Called out but accurate

By brittbrat4 - 05/07/2011 00:25 - United States

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 675

You deserved it 6 378

Glassed

By Rick - 01/07/2011 08:31 - United States

Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 2 504

By thesmartone - 21/06/2012 03:44 - United States

Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 017

You deserved it 4 835

By RoxMySox - 25/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 440

You deserved it 6 715

By ooops - 03/09/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 942

You deserved it 43 271

By Anonymous - 12/02/2014 18:11 - United States

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 323

You deserved it 3 663

Road rage

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Germany - Mannheim

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20 km/h over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 637

You deserved it 8 412

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 145

Next

Top comments

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Thursday 14 February 2019 5:07

Calling your brother an asshole would be an insult to assholes, and calling the driver that deliberately ran into you a moron would be an insult to morons.

Chen Zhibang 8

Thursday 14 February 2019 3:05

You can't morally claim insurance if you've given consent.

Comments

bloopaloop 27

Thursday 14 February 2019 2:33

Is their lawyer claiming it was because of the sign?

Chen Zhibang 8

Thursday 14 February 2019 3:05

You can't morally claim insurance if you've given consent.

Gofuckyourself 24

Thursday 14 February 2019 6:36

But consent wasn't given. It's like saying your family member or even a stranger putting a sign like that on your car and you didn't know about it and then someone hits you. You see the sign after. What do you do? Now the post doesn't state whether OP saw the sign before or after but I'm sure they would have taken it down the second they saw it.

Gofuckyourself 24

Thursday 14 February 2019 4:53

I don't know if this is a possibility but take the sign down, call insurance, state it was a hit and run, and throw the sign in your brothers face.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Thursday 14 February 2019 5:07

Calling your brother an asshole would be an insult to assholes, and calling the driver that deliberately ran into you a moron would be an insult to morons.

fde2blknimout 18

Thursday 14 February 2019 9:21

Anyone with a baby on board sign deserves to get hit. The idea a reckless or drunk driver is going to come to their senses or sober up bc of your pretentious sign is ridiculous. You deserved it!!!

cornyrob 33

Thursday 14 February 2019 13:32

At first i thought it was a sexual message

hollunation 11

Thursday 14 February 2019 17:34

HAH oh my god

naveen kumar 0

Sunday 17 February 2019 4:40

You can't think that everyone out there has common sense/humor these days.. so many retards out there!

Steve45 4

Tuesday 12 March 2024 12:23

A sticker with "I have no insurance and am broke" makes people drive very carefull behind you

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The Top

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 21 176

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 6 604

The Top

Today, I encountered the curry issue from 'Gavin and Stacey' when we ordered a takeaway, which my mom insisted we share around the table. I only eat tikka, and had no interest in trying anyone else's, but by the time two parents and three siblings had all had a taste of mine, there was only two mouthfuls left. I'm still hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 242

Today, my husband is refusing to go to a gastroenterologist. His farts have gotten so rank, they could be used as weapon to extract info from political prisoners, but he still insists nothing is wrong. Another night of this and I’ll be sleeping outside in in 30°F weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 126

Today, I went dancing with my best friend and I went back with her to crash in her bed. I didn't expect her boyfriend to stay over too, much less in the same bed. And I definitely did not expect them to have sex while I was there either. Nor to learn that he moans more than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 996

You deserved it 2 060

Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 287

You deserved it 5 058

Today, I intended on making a dramatic exit after arguing with my boss. I grabbed my coat, stormed out of the office, and slammed the door behind me. Or at least I tried to. The door has a hydraulic hinge, so it closed in slow motion while everyone who had heard the argument watched in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 450

Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 583

You deserved it 6 371