Health: Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively... - FML

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By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 520

You deserved it 3 876

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Same thing different taste

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 084

You deserved it 6 964

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 413

You deserved it 32 299

Shout the victory

By dogpatch087 - 02/01/2020 03:00 - United States - Ventura

Today, while climbing a mountain, I got to the top and then put both of my arms up in a victory kind of way only to trip on a rock and fall into a cactus plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 505

It hurts when I pee

By yomamma787 - 24/11/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 900

You deserved it 54 461

By anonymous - 25/06/2016 20:03 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 543

You deserved it 950

By thanksdad - 16/03/2014 19:28 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 823

You deserved it 6 295

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 16:52 - United States

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 413

You deserved it 33 008

By romea244 - 14/08/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 661

You deserved it 27 078

By Lawrence - 06/08/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike to the local grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner. On the way down, traveling down a hill, I hit a drain with no lid. I went to grab hold of the nearest object to soften my fall. That nearest object was a barbed wire fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 690

You deserved it 3 741

By TheSublime - 21/10/2009 13:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 869

You deserved it 4 657

Next

Top comments

RollingCakes 21

Sunday 31 August 2014 23:07

Ouch, you should probably invest in some hiking poles.

arrow007archer 19

Sunday 31 August 2014 23:08

I think there's a point we can learn from this

Comments

random_cashmere 25

Sunday 31 August 2014 23:34

I have done that with poison ivy before. Sucks, doesnt it OP.

blueblu97 16

Sunday 31 August 2014 23:38

Oh ouch, I would rather have rolled down the hill!

NinjaDitto623 14

Sunday 31 August 2014 23:49

That must have been a prickly situation....No?....Okay.

IPatMusic 2

Monday 1 September 2014 23:26

Don't.

wvcheesehead 13

Sunday 31 August 2014 23:50

Clearly a sticky situation.

WhackTheJackal 22

Monday 1 September 2014 0:20

Woo, I moderated this.

fritzie 13

Monday 1 September 2014 0:24

Ouch I've done that before.

hushkush420 1

Monday 1 September 2014 1:36

ouch! haha

lasiodora 4

Monday 1 September 2014 3:20

OP here! only a little blood was shed and a few spines were lodged in my hand. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it wasn't fun either. I should probably get a walking stick to help with the descending of said slopes.

Duskf1re 12

Monday 1 September 2014 4:57

One of my friends did that once

andiesaur 18

Monday 1 September 2014 4:59

I just want to know where this happened!

lasiodora 4

Monday 1 September 2014 5:15

arizona. I was in arizona.

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You deserved it 231

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

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The Top

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Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 456

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I agree, your life sucks 14 147

You deserved it 30 216

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 781

You deserved it 5 114

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 946

You deserved it 1 724

Today, my wife asked me when will my sex drive just stop. I'm only 39. FML

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You deserved it 142