Intimacy: Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting...

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 953

You deserved it 6 454

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 5 066

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 485

You deserved it 5 317

By cherry - 10/04/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 751

You deserved it 23 896

By pineapple456 - 16/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 573

You deserved it 17 987

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 898

You deserved it 40 478

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 182

You deserved it 12 019

Anticlimax

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 996

You deserved it 4 703

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 450

You deserved it 42 552

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 043

epoh_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:33

that would have definitely irritated your ******.

xlossofmex 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:11

interesting birth control there.

Comments

SumKid_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 23:23

What a retard.

xlostwithoutu 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 0:31

This is fake as hell. You can tell when the OP name looks like that.

lrv2003 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 1:03

what does YDI and OP stand for??? lol. everyone uses those abreviations in their comments.

Pg11 0

Monday 29 November 2010 8:16

ydi-your doom imminent op-orgasmic penis

hrtstealer 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 1:46

what do you get when you mix athlete's foot and a ******? now you got some funky shit going on down south.

exquisite 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 1:48

To #60 .. You get an 'applicator tip' stuck .....

omgmorganomg 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 1:50

hmm. that could irritate later :-/

hunter989 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 1:58

ouch rug burn much?

XFlyingxPiranhaX 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 2:10

@59- YDI means you deserved it. OP means, from what I've heard, original poster. All I know is that it refers to the individual who posted said FML. Also, @ Hush- nice song! It is now in my head for the next 5 hours. ;D I lol'd at this. sockondoms!!

foozy 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 2:21

whatever happened to waiting till you get married to have sex? I know that some people cannot do this, but seriously at least get to know the person first!