Miscellaneous: Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow...

By BowlofCherries - 22/05/2012 02:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 463

You deserved it 5 276

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Same thing different taste

By shadysheikh - 29/10/2014 04:55 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 722

You deserved it 9 127

Best teeth in the game

By Nochnoii - 07/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 660

You deserved it 13 257

Smurf mouth

By shoeaddiikt - 07/10/2009 07:48 - Australia

Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 254

You deserved it 42 471

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 02:56 - United States - New York

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 658

You deserved it 51 504

Accusations

By cosmonaut - 07/08/2009 09:18 - New Zealand

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 895

You deserved it 71 443

By iFail - 29/01/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 777

You deserved it 9 021

By geena - 27/10/2012 06:42 - United States - Washington

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 073

You deserved it 7 981

Fork that

By SpooningLeadstoForking - 29/06/2017 00:00

Today, during my second day on the job, I ate pasta with a pen in the backroom. My old job provided plasticware, and it never occurred to me to pack a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 377

You deserved it 1 596

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 382

You deserved it 6 728

By asianjoe - 11/07/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 2 789

wallandpiece 16

Tuesday 22 May 2012 9:05

Go and chew on his power tools.

lalalanono 8

Tuesday 22 May 2012 9:09

Sanatize it and move on with your life.

Comments

NotAlwaysRight 11

Tuesday 22 May 2012 14:24

I don't get why people spend so much money on pens. I got a pack of pens from the dollar store and they write as smooth as a $50 pen.

quinnlp 4

Tuesday 22 May 2012 14:40

And then tell him the story of that pen in you're ass

Myo_fml 20

Tuesday 22 May 2012 14:57

It has happened to me before too, OP. I know it sucks. :( I loaned one to a guy in a class and got to sit back there behind him watching him gnaw away.

perdix 29

Tuesday 22 May 2012 15:08

The good news is you have enough of his DNA to clone him. In about 20 years you can form a Village People tribute band.

whiterabbit420 4

Tuesday 22 May 2012 15:17

Parker's aren't even that expensive if it was a mont blanc... Thats another story. And if why didn't you say something?!??? You just sat there, staring while he gnawed on your pen then accepted it back covered in spit? That's just ridiculous. YDI for loaning out something you perceive as valuable without keeping an eye on it or speaking up for yourself. Nobody's life gets f'ed over a pen....

tmmundy 17

Tuesday 22 May 2012 15:33

^^just maybe op didn't see the guy gnawing on the pen. Just maybe op realized the guy had gnawed on it when he returned the pen with a special gift of slobber. yuk

tmmundy 17

Tuesday 22 May 2012 15:38

^^well you're right op did just sit there staring. I read soooo many FMLs. I had to go back and read the op lol. Socks for op.

1crabbygirl 10

Tuesday 22 May 2012 23:49

It's true, people just refuse to speak out for themselves. And when we do, others get pi$$y. I don't understand how people can be such unabashed a$$kissers!