Love: Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 08:04 - Canada

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 650

You deserved it 8 355

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous001 - 08/01/2013 19:58 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 923

You deserved it 68 883

The price of love

By that kind of girl - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Mississauga

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 751

You deserved it 5 060

Say hello, wave goodbye

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 850

You deserved it 4 875

Weird movie choice

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 00:01

Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 379

By Anonymous - 22/02/2010 11:28 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 084

You deserved it 3 050

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 19:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 615

You deserved it 5 651

By Lovers lost... - 24/03/2018 19:00

Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 4 869

By Nikki - 15/10/2009 01:47 - Canada

Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 239

You deserved it 6 724

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By myBFsucks - 05/10/2011 04:16 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 340

You deserved it 7 539

Next

Top comments

canadian_ftw 8

Sunday 12 December 2010 19:38

that's freaking amazing.

Shorty_Shaza 5

Sunday 12 December 2010 19:41

was this for charity? Or just a saturday night for you?

Comments

kkutting 2

Monday 13 December 2010 9:02

haha sometimes I wonder about certain people :P sounds like someone from hick qc town with terrible slang too xD god those people are special! hahaha..! but hey I guess that's what happens when you participate in an auction OP

kyle1991 0

Monday 13 December 2010 9:06

woof woof

duckiesrevenges 0

Monday 13 December 2010 12:38

you should be happy ... LOTR is an amazing movie but you wouldnt understand

AngieVengeance 0

Monday 13 December 2010 12:47

what's wrong with that?

Dragoncatdpt 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 5:29

Agreed, he sounds like a pretty cool guy actually

CLDBL00DED 0

Monday 13 December 2010 12:50

Smeagol loves the precious

reddwarf_fml 0

Monday 13 December 2010 15:08

.........um is the FML that u only brought 2 dollars or the Lord Of The Ribgs thing?

seradares 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 1:46

Dude has good taste in movies and a good memory! Can't lose

poggymoose 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 6:46

I love the mines of Moria scene, especially the part with the bridge of khazad dum "You can not pass! I am a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of anor. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" How do I even remember all that? lol!

svolski 0

Monday 3 January 2011 5:50

******* nerd

LizTheGolfish 0

Tuesday 14 December 2010 22:43

WE WANTS IT!!!

Karnezar 2

Wednesday 29 December 2010 7:28

I'd go there and quote 300.. "So, what do you like to do?" "GIVE THEM NOTHING, BUT TAKE FROM THEM, EVERYTHING!!" "I think I should go.." "Instead ask yourself, what should a free man do?" "This is ridiculous.." "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 341

You deserved it 403

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 052

You deserved it 8 438

The Top

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 321

You deserved it 2 303

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 566

You deserved it 2 013

Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 648

You deserved it 2 487

Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 274

You deserved it 554

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 426

You deserved it 5 406

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesn't know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 262

You deserved it 5 694