Love: Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 08:04 - Canada

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 650

You deserved it 8 355

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous001 - 08/01/2013 19:58 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 923

You deserved it 68 882

The price of love

By that kind of girl - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Mississauga

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 751

You deserved it 5 060

Say hello, wave goodbye

By Anonymous - 11/07/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 850

You deserved it 4 875

Weird movie choice

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 00:01

Today, I had my first ever date. He invited me to dinner and a movie. Then he put on "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I couldn’t think of an excuse to get out, so I had to wait till the end of the film. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 379

By Anonymous - 22/02/2010 11:28 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 084

You deserved it 3 050

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 19:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 613

You deserved it 5 651

By Lovers lost... - 24/03/2018 19:00

Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 4 869

By Nikki - 15/10/2009 01:47 - Canada

Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 239

You deserved it 6 724

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By myBFsucks - 05/10/2011 04:16 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 340

You deserved it 7 539

Next

Top comments

canadian_ftw 8

Sunday 12 December 2010 19:38

that's freaking amazing.

Shorty_Shaza 5

Sunday 12 December 2010 19:41

was this for charity? Or just a saturday night for you?

Comments

grandpaearthling 2

Sunday 12 December 2010 22:21

I hope the charity wasn't "dollars for ******". two bucks isn't enough to keep the batteries running while he woos you with his "precious".

grandpaearthling 2

Sunday 12 December 2010 23:13

I'm I the only one that thinks the funniest thing is no one was willing to up the bid to $2.50.

lbeer 1

Sunday 12 December 2010 23:38

sorry I thought you said that that turned you on you filthy bitch

DemonBob 0

Monday 13 December 2010 0:04

Once you go geek.... You never go back.

tikimuppet 11

Monday 13 December 2010 0:06

I think that would make a very awesome date :P

sourgirl101 28

Monday 13 December 2010 0:13

I'd be more upset that I'm only worth $2 instead of who got me. Ummm... not that I would put myself on the **** market. Next time just pitch in a few bucks and call it a day.(:

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 13 December 2010 1:26

And that's a problem? I'm guessing you're one of the individuals who sees being nerdy as a bad thing.

collegegirl87 0

Monday 13 December 2010 2:32

I love being a nerd!! lol

NJXD 0

Monday 13 December 2010 1:27

HAHA

Anubyte 0

Monday 13 December 2010 1:34

Today I was in a dating auction, and the guy I ended up with could recite every dialogue from LOTR. GMH!

womblebat 2

Monday 13 December 2010 1:40

That man is talented. I want his number :(

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The Top

Today, I came across a street musician. He looked extremely well-fed already, but his music was pretty good, so I gave him some spare change. As soon as I turned away, he started screaming at me for being "cheap", and chased me half a block before running out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 738

You deserved it 4 239

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 831

You deserved it 225

The Top

Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 311

You deserved it 694

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 721

You deserved it 33 338

Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 764

You deserved it 2 086

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 385

You deserved it 2 729

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 260

You deserved it 4 975

Today, I'm being paid to watch paint dry. I work for military defense, and the door l just painted is an opening for a secure lab, so has to be monitored nonstop. This cannot happen until the paint dries. The U.S. government is literally paying me to watch paint dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 079

You deserved it 358