Intimacy: Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making...

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By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 07:02 - United States

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 281

You deserved it 3 071

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Same thing different taste

By dammitall - 15/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 437

You deserved it 4 885

By Username - 29/05/2014 14:14 - United States

Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 992

You deserved it 4 731

Symphony

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 19:17 - United States

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 496

You deserved it 5 206

Call Mario

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 15:57 - Canada

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 009

You deserved it 38 647

By LennyLemon - 25/08/2016 13:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 017

You deserved it 1 085

Let it all out

By Vomitron - 02/04/2021 00:30

Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 124

Weirdo

By ReineXre - 15/06/2016 00:00

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 509

You deserved it 732

Steamy

By Hotdamn - 21/03/2016 04:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 299

You deserved it 3 189

Get it on

By RotoRooter - 17/04/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 580

You deserved it 12 667

Make yourselves at home

By unlucky neighbors - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - China - Shanghai

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 725

You deserved it 3 436

gc327072 30

Tuesday 11 September 2012 15:57

That's because they need to get a room. Stalls aren't designed for such intense purposes.

chriscrossedya 4

Tuesday 11 September 2012 15:59

you sure they were makin out? sounds like there was an intense game of battleshits goin on

Comments

Dayzha 0

Wednesday 12 September 2012 2:50

them gurls is nasty

wvcheesehead 13

Wednesday 12 September 2012 2:57

I do not understand all the pushing around? They do not really have the gear to even dry hump.

kitties_fml 12

Wednesday 12 September 2012 4:20

hahah, what? do you have any idea how female arousal works?

southsideohyeah 5

Wednesday 12 September 2012 3:11

Enjoy the view

desertpunk75 11

Wednesday 12 September 2012 3:38

pics or it didn't happen.

pittyfinny 4

Wednesday 12 September 2012 3:47

I guess that made it a threesome

kitties_fml 12

Wednesday 12 September 2012 4:18

whaaat? i do not believe that, those girls would have to be MASSIVE

buca100 4

Wednesday 12 September 2012 4:53

Lucky you!

theslyfox72 3

Wednesday 12 September 2012 5:07

Damn thats hot yo ;)

DrAtomic 0

Wednesday 12 September 2012 5:57

I love how when I read this, the song that came on Pandora radio was "Collide".

pikachuthekyd 4

Wednesday 12 September 2012 5:58

Ratchet lol

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The Top

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 746

You deserved it 3 459

Today, in the middle of an argument with my wife, our autistic son started calling out tennis scores, which turned out to be his way of keeping score of who was winning the argument. Apparently, by the end, it was 40-love approaching server's deuce point, which I think means I lost the argument badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 232

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 10 062

You deserved it 925

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I agree, your life sucks 40 316

You deserved it 5 393

Today, as soon as I put my card into an ATM, the words "Out of Order" popped up and it would not return my card. Since I was at the bank, I got a free replacement. Trying to draw money again the second machine did the same thing and a third card costs more than what I have in my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 602

You deserved it 508

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 962

You deserved it 4 002

He doesn't like to move it move it.

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 85

Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 628

You deserved it 4 974