Animals: Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat...

By targetlove - 10/01/2010 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 305

You deserved it 3 414

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/06/2015 21:52 - United States - Tupelo

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 055

You deserved it 1 845

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 06:00

Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 198

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 942

You deserved it 61 822

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 20:00

Today, I learned what a "pain in the ass" means. I sat down on my patio swing chair, only to discover it was swarming with baby wasps, who stung me all over the butt. Ouch! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 232

By feelinnauseous - 24/06/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 991

You deserved it 15 729

By life_sucks - 16/01/2010 18:46 - New Zealand

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 026

You deserved it 7 525

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 027

You deserved it 2 794

By Ouchmybum - 03/11/2018 12:00

Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 569

You deserved it 239

What the **** was that?

By Hatty - 14/03/2010 10:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 731

You deserved it 23 689

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 520

sweatnut 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:06

that must be a pain in the ass. New definition of my ass is on fire.

Jonesy_fml 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:06

Hey, at least you didn't shit yourself... but you gotta ask yourself, was the rush worth it?

Comments

Jonesy_fml 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:06

Hey, at least you didn't shit yourself... but you gotta ask yourself, was the rush worth it?

billyhirvine09 0

Sunday 11 April 2010 16:14

YDI for saying bum

ARScratch 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 10:49

lol I hate 'bum'

KarinaLizeth18 5

Wednesday 1 September 2010 22:19

what's wrong with bum hmmm??? O.o

sweatnut 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:06

that must be a pain in the ass. New definition of my ass is on fire.

m0tl3ycru3 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 6:00

Damn wasps

pwincessa23 1

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:09

Hey at least now u got a J. Lo butt. too bad it's just one cheeck!

alexandraa_fml 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:10

Holy bum cheek Batman..

whataloadofbull 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 13:57

wut

XFlyingxPiranhaX 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 23:10

*sigh* Really? Do you really have to have this explained?

WearingHats 14

Wednesday 22 September 2010 13:50

Someone has never seen the old Batman. 'Tis a darn shame.

beanerkid 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:11

hope you dont have to go swimming anytime soon

littlelizard111 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:15

I agree with # 547!!!!!

chaos753159 4

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:23

hope u dont enjoy sitting

jam_21 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:33

that sounds really really painful.... FYL, no one deserves to have their ass bitten by an angry wasp while they're on the pot trying to take a leak.....