Animals: Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat...

By targetlove - 10/01/2010 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 306

You deserved it 3 414

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Same thing different taste

Public freakout

By Anonymous - 29/06/2015 21:52 - United States - Tupelo

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 067

You deserved it 1 846

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 24/07/2022 06:00

Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 198

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 61 823

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 20:00

Today, I learned what a "pain in the ass" means. I sat down on my patio swing chair, only to discover it was swarming with baby wasps, who stung me all over the butt. Ouch! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 634

You deserved it 234

By feelinnauseous - 24/06/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 992

You deserved it 15 729

By life_sucks - 16/01/2010 18:46 - New Zealand

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 027

You deserved it 7 526

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 029

You deserved it 2 796

By Ouchmybum - 03/11/2018 12:00

Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 570

You deserved it 239

What the **** was that?

By Hatty - 14/03/2010 10:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 731

You deserved it 23 691

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 522

sweatnut 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:06

that must be a pain in the ass. New definition of my ass is on fire.

Jonesy_fml 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 9:06

Hey, at least you didn't shit yourself... but you gotta ask yourself, was the rush worth it?

Comments

yellowbirdx 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 11:55

Oh my God. That's like my worst nightmare. FYL indeed.

whyamionfml 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 12:33

haha this is one of my fav FML's :P

CamH_fml 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 12:51

Eek, that almost happened to me once in Perth. Those damn wasps are everywhere

Xx_bigdaddy53_xX 2

Saturday 4 August 2012 7:45

Xxxx

hackymeal 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 13:04

thts y it's gud to b a boy :)

whyevenbother 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 13:15

what is it with women and NOT CHECKING THE TOILET BEFORE YOU SIT ON IT. god damn it, people, COMMON SENSE. don't go leaping arse-first towards the bowl the second you open the door. YDI

newsgit 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 15:46

well, usually there aren't wasps in the toilet. Well, maybe in some places (judging by the comments), but probably not where OP is.

holly_fly 34

Friday 8 April 2016 15:49

What is it with guys not putting the toilet seat down? Hmmmmm? And you can't honestly tell me you do a 27 point inspection before you use the toilet.

CYNNER 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 14:45

I think thats hilarious. my dad got stung in the ass by a wasp repeatedly but couldn't figure out what was going on cuz he has nerve damage in most of his body

Americunt 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 15:19

Ooh, Burn. So sorry OP, nature is ferocious. FYL.

newsgit 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 15:38

that's why you KNOCK FIRST. Wasps don't like it when they're taking a shit (hell, maybe jackin' off) and you just barge in. It's rude, inconsiderate, and gross. OP, you disgust me. FYL.