Today, I was in my car with my new vibrator, when I realised... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 20/10/2017 19:20 - Australia - Heathridge

Today, I was in my car with my new vibrator, when I realised I am one of those public masturbaters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 69

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Top comments

mritter 9

Sunday 29 October 2017 20:40

i fail to see the problem with this revelation

Comments

mritter 9

Sunday 29 October 2017 20:40

i fail to see the problem with this revelation

Keywords

Cars Embarrassing Transportation Awkward Relatable Work Mental health AITA Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Animals Dogs Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 744

You deserved it 17 914

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 904

You deserved it 52 562

Today, I had sex with a guy on our third date. We'd just finished having sex and he was blatantly on Tinder right next to me in bed. I literally hadn’t moved yet and he still had a wet boner, and yet he was on Tinder looking for his next hookup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 318

Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 157

You deserved it 2 992

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 125

You deserved it 4 056

Today, I announced my engagement on social media. I got more people telling me how stupid I was than any actually congratulating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 297

You deserved it 3 121

Today, I stumbled across my boyfriend's tumblr page. I've known him for years and never knew he had one. Being curious, I decided to give it a look, only to be ambushed by a wall of furry porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 250

You deserved it 837