Intimacy: Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend...

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 520

You deserved it 4 038

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 605

By left out wet - 22/06/2019 22:08

Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 246

Hi Honey, I'm home

By seminole711 - 20/09/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 6 979

Classic lineup

By Phoellie - 28/08/2009 11:43 - United Kingdom

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 325

You deserved it 5 233

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 085

You deserved it 373

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 6 060

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 2 303

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 05:52 - United States

Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 859

You deserved it 27 910

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 126

By chelle - 01/05/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 886

You deserved it 15 676

GirlaftaGirl 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 16:10

You dont need a new body...you need a new boyfriend

Jen_J_the_J 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 16:17

^^^^ someone likes their ****

Comments

KASHMIR_fml 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 9:28

you deserve it for not turnin the lights on bimbo

joebo7 0

Wednesday 24 February 2010 0:47

your name and this fml make me think...

joshskim 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 3:20

what's ur number so I can have sex wit u better than ur boyfriend who threw his bookbag I can have passional sex and make u want more

GeneralDisarray6 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 22:50

your probably a fat ugly *****.... much different looking than you used to look when you first got with him. you probably just figured its ok to stuff lard down your ***** mouth and gain about 200 pounds. but of course its not your fault.....your not the one with the problem.... there is something wrong with HIM because he doesnt think you are sexy anymore. of course your not the problem.... yeah....**** your life.... you fat bitch.