Miscellaneous: Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights...

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 561

You deserved it 29 184

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Same thing different taste

By esoog - 19/05/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 525

You deserved it 48 400

By Reno - 15/04/2013 16:25 - United States - Reno

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 679

You deserved it 8 971

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 23:42

Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 082

You deserved it 1 202

By screamo - 02/05/2009 20:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 859

You deserved it 46 799

By GodDamnFan - 27/05/2009 11:44 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 217

You deserved it 5 802

By LacrosseFAIL - 16/07/2016 22:33 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, after a long day at work, I walked into my room with the lights off and jumped on my bed. At least I would've if I haven't rearranged my room and instead face-planted onto my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 094

You deserved it 4 804

Night terrors

By Si123 - 15/08/2020 08:01

Today, after a long day at work, I was ready to wind down for the night. I sat on my bed and turned towards a fluttering on my left. I saw the biggest daddy-longlegs inches from my face, jumped in the other direction, forgetting there was a wall, and hit my head on it. I'm now officially wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 250

By Ringo McDingo - 26/03/2012 04:31 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 233

You deserved it 2 200

By Girl-of-very-little-brain - 29/12/2011 12:01 - Canada

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 234

You deserved it 4 984

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 47 320

Blahp 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 23:20

Ouch. I watched Paranormal Activity and I was really freaked out too :P

Luckster 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 23:26

Never watch horror films, suspense thrillers, or action movies before bed. They really make sleeping difficult.

Comments

racherose 0

Monday 4 January 2010 1:34

The Haunting in Conneticut was filmed two miles away from my house ^3^ Now you know why you don't watch scary movies before bedtime. haha.

jordan256138 0

Monday 4 January 2010 2:44

not much of an fml but funny lil

GiRIsMakingCupca 0

Monday 4 January 2010 3:20

why was your fone glowing an eriee light at 1AM in the morning

fab_4_fan 0

Monday 4 January 2010 3:50

this belongs on MLIA

tacoman007 2

Monday 4 January 2010 4:12

Damn it, I thought the light would have been coming from a space ship.

kujo7 0

Monday 4 January 2010 4:14

paranoid much??

xxxsportygurlxxx 0

Monday 4 January 2010 5:28

lol xD u should've switched of ur ph. xD

hazmat96211 0

Monday 4 January 2010 6:58

THIS fml can be simplified to this "today, i realized im a pussy for scary movies,fml."

jamjenni2774 0

Monday 4 January 2010 7:33

Freaky

littleblackbunny 0

Monday 4 January 2010 7:46

hahahahahahahahahahaha spazzing from my phone light is something i would do in that situation. haha

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Proposal Sports Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents ADHD Medication Weather Miscellaneous Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird

The Top

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 402

You deserved it 4 295

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 367

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 412

You deserved it 11 650

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 501

You deserved it 23 113

Today, I texted my boyfriend, who's on vacation halfway across the world, but he didn't respond. I mentioned it to my younger sister who said, "It probably just takes a while for the text to get all the way there." My mom piped up, "Don't be dumb sweetie, he's just ignoring her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 242

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 026

You deserved it 3 306

Today, my psychologist broke up with me, professionally. It's alright though, she told me it's her, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 140

You deserved it 806

Today, I found out that I have moved next door to a guy from my school, with whom I've had a arguments with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 168

Same thing different taste

Night terrors

Brain fart

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