Miscellaneous: Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing....

By GodDamnFan - 27/05/2009 11:44 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by my phone ringing. As I groggily reached for it I managed to knock my fan onto my head, leaving a grate-shaped bruise. The best part? My phone wasn't ringing, I dreamed myself awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 216

You deserved it 5 802

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Same thing different taste

By mirandatheunicorn - 17/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was having a beautiful lucid dream when a telemarketer called at 5AM, waking me up. I silenced my phone and went back to sleep, and was somehow able to resume my lucid dream. Then my phone vibrated me awake. It was the same telemarketer, this time calling at 7AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 258

You deserved it 269

By Sleepy - 31/05/2015 15:51 - United States - Apo

Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 481

You deserved it 5 037

By Ringo McDingo - 26/03/2012 04:31 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 233

You deserved it 2 200

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 561

You deserved it 29 184

DON'T MOVE!

By Miller_Time - 18/03/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 826

You deserved it 8 704

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

Lesson learned

By katharine - 15/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 065

You deserved it 30 683

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 042

You deserved it 5 237

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 12:16 - United States

Today, my phone started ringing in the other room. I ran to go pick it up, tripped over my coffee table which gashed my leg, and knocked over my brand new 50" LCD TV, which broke over my head. Turns out it was a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 436

You deserved it 15 299

By IngenuityAbsent - 22/02/2015 13:54 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 239

You deserved it 4 759

rukusrazor 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:13

Get a cover for that fan, or you will Final Destination yourself.

theoffkid 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:08

PHANTOM PHONE SYNDROME!

Comments

sickinlove13 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:02

lmao. I wake myself up, too, by thinking my phone is ringing.

Naheelawhatwhat 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:06

Haha, that happens to me all the time too.

Notsobadboy 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:07

aha... this just rocks fyl

theoffkid 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:08

PHANTOM PHONE SYNDROME!

rukusrazor 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:13

Get a cover for that fan, or you will Final Destination yourself.

Rose_916 16

Tuesday 21 August 2012 6:14

This made my day :D

JRSpaniel 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:14

That's pretty hilarious. XD

poolshark 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:15

This made me think of Mitch Hedberg's fan bit: "I've got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "No". So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say no to. "Do you keep my hair in place?... Do you keep my documents in order?... Do you have three settings? Liar!" (Do you leave grate shaped bruises? Do you attack me while I am half asleep? Do you make a whirring sound that could be mistaken for my phone ringing?) "My fan ******* lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' shit."

emer_helena 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:20

Where was your fan that you managed to hit yourself on the head with it so hard you got a bruise? That does suck though. The only thing worse than waking up too early is waking up for no reason

fatfaceunited 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:23

Why are you in bed at 2?

Peachy2392 26

Wednesday 30 October 2013 22:52

Some people have responsibilities to take care of that occur before 12pm.

fyrtiosexarton 12

Wednesday 27 May 2009 20:24

i actually was woken by my phone ringing. it was my dad's female friend's boyfriend (who thought dad and his friend is getting it on) and he was calling to yell at him. at 2 am! and the next day i had TWO physics test i had to re-take. GEE!