Animals: Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at...

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 263

You deserved it 7 317

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Same thing different taste

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 361

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 510

You deserved it 28 629

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 777

You deserved it 31 287

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 4 622

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 326

Jackson Galaxy moment

By Foreigner Fail - 25/09/2022 13:30

Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 369

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 570

By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 106

You deserved it 4 973

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 177

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 113

You deserved it 3 831

xXshadowrollerXx 6

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:35

Your pussy is out of control.

flockz 19

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:47

sorry i hate beiing the grammar nazi but *onslaught

Comments

BbqKirbyAnn 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:21

you musta found my cat...

dakins 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:21

u've been pussy whipped.

iamcoolank 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:22

My cat does the same thing!

Sakaragi 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:25

Guess who's sleeping on a.hard floor from now on?

ladypatience93 2

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:29

Lmfao...

Wezl8 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:29

You should have thrown it against the wall.

christianmary182 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:29

wasn't his hissing warning enough?

demetrius19 7

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:36

mean cat!!!

afonkin01 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:38

Wow are you serious?! I would have killed that cat

Bonte 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 5:39

your face must be some kind of scary

Keywords

Miscellaneous Awkward Love Money Racism My ex Harassment Embarrassing Accident Work AITA Am I overreacting? Religion Relatable Health Gifts LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate Teachers Education Dogs Animals Relationship advice Cute Cats Friends Cars Transportation Scams

The Top

Today, my friend and I went to dinner. At the end, he told me that he’s had feelings for me for a while and wants to be more than friends. I don’t see him that way, so I tried to gently reject him and wanted us to stay friends. He stiffed me with the bill and said, “You can walk home then, buddy!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 201

Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 539

The Top

Today, my boyfriend finally found a roommate after hopelessly looking for months. I was really anxious to meet the guy because I would most likely be spending a good amount of time with him. Who did my boyfriend end up picking as his new roommate? My ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 347

You deserved it 4 694

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 291

Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 700

You deserved it 4 560

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 181

You deserved it 3 443

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 956

You deserved it 3 360

Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 557

You deserved it 226

Same thing different taste

Rocky VIX

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

Jackson Galaxy moment

That's the power of love

Beware!

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