By SoreNips - 12/04/2013 23:57 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 486
You deserved it 13 988
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

osm1989_fml 6

The way this is worded makes me picture your nipples in tears.

212 4
spazz666 18

"What in the name of Dawkins" that's fantastic. Also, maybe she's just trying to tell you she's into pain. Sure would be a weird way of showing it, but ya know.

142 15

Comments

manzylittle3759 6

Ouch!! Turn on?

67 8
ElementaryEdGuy 18

21 - you left out the "by my cat while I was asleep."

21 5
fury1031 10

OP, sometimes women do bad things to men, but it does NOT mean that the man did something to deserve it. It's very possible that they're just being a bitch.

6 3
osm1989_fml 6

The way this is worded makes me picture your nipples in tears.

212 4
simplysarcastics 26

That is a very moving mental image! A bit disturbing but moving. Lol

12 5
spazz666 18

"What in the name of Dawkins" that's fantastic. Also, maybe she's just trying to tell you she's into pain. Sure would be a weird way of showing it, but ya know.

142 15
Bakarra 22

I wasn't sure if that was actually supposed to be the saying because when I write "*******" in my phone it autocorrects to "Dickinson" but maybe it's an actual saying who knows?

5 6
Feklfekl2222 32

It's something atheists say instead of god, not an autocorrect thing

16 5
MeloTooNice7 7

I voted YDI just because OP used that phrasing.

3 10
l23VIVE 17

When I Googled "Dawkins" the top result was the Wikipedia page of Richard Dawkins, a famous scientist. So I'd guess OP is an Athiest

2 6
RpiesSPIES 27

You let your guard down, that's what you did.

45 7
ry24 12

I truly don't know how I would react to that

19 2
annihil8or 15

By doing the same thing back to her.

4 1
eyesmile27 7

Maybe she gets pleasure from your pain?

15 2
Bakarra 22

Oh yea maybe she's just a masochist, but its okay OP that's definitely not a reason to be concerned...

4 10
laurbear87 8

59- you mean sadist, not masochist

19 0
Bakarra 22

Shit lol I looked up masochist just to make sure it was the same as sadist cuz I like the word better but now that I reread the definition it says "deriving pleasure from ones OWN pain" case and point I shouldn't comment after an 8 hour shift at 1 in the morning

4 5
Allornone 35

Twisted Nipples. I'm totally going to name my band that. Now if only i had a band, or any musical talent...

68 2
lilhellian 26

You don't need musical talent.. Look at niki minaj..

48 6
gracehi 31

I play a game with a friend of mine where we (well, mostly I) come up with awesome band names, like "Kamakazi Bumblebee," "Call Off the Dogs," "Prey on the Innocent," "Culture Shock," and "Heavy Footed Beast." It's a fun game. You guys should try it.

14 4
ironic_legacy 9

26 - If I ever make a band, remind me not to ask you for a name haha. But seriously--Culture Shock...writing that one down...

9 12
gracehi 31

Ha ha! That was one of his! But whatever, man. I'm a band-naming genius. :P

7 5
license2chill 5

11, thank you, sir, for that comment, it made me laugh like a jackass in the public, lol

3 0
SweetStuff88 7

Perhaps it's because you say things like what in the Dawkins

30 41
jskains 6

No, worshipping the Atheist religion is much better. Cause Richie is such a great guy!

3 33
alkerh 8

Haha... Atheist religion, don't be silly.

17 3
Deviant_fml 5

shoulda is fine as slang... It's "should of" that gets little girls' panties in a twist.

6 1
mtlarsen1125 1

She probably did it because you say things like why in the Dawkins.

15 39