Love: Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever....

By ouch - 19/12/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 351

You deserved it 3 815

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Same thing different taste

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 723

You deserved it 17 288

Antidate

By Inpain - 08/07/2023 10:00

Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 142

Creepypasta

By mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 866

You deserved it 5 297

By megomania - 02/05/2011 13:51 - United States

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 042

You deserved it 4 440

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 368

You deserved it 230

By Anonymouse - 07/11/2015 02:03

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 919

You deserved it 2 172

By Knottywoman - 03/09/2017 23:15

Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 227

You deserved it 245

By f.a.t. - 04/10/2013 08:20 - Australia

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 618

You deserved it 7 783

By Sam - 09/01/2018 19:00

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 817

You deserved it 255

Bro moment

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 11:00

Today, I had a stomach bug and had to run to the restroom because I messed my pants. My boyfriend's words of comfort? "Don't worry, bro. I've crapped my pants at least twice since we've been together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 168

snafu57 1

Saturday 19 December 2009 20:58

Tell him "I may be fat but you're ugly. I can lose weight. "

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 3:13

Because it's the worst ones SHE's ever had, you complete moron.

Comments

CallMeHush 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 3:06

So slime up some yellow gummy worms, put them in your underwear, walk into the room with your hand in your pants, say "OMG you're right!!!" and throw them on his chest.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 3:12

＃1 Oh, idiot who can't read, he said "SIKINNIER". That word implies the chick is ALREADY skinny. I.E., NOT OBESE. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-er#Usage_notes_2 Learn to speak English.

Gulo_fml 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 3:13

You know for sure it's a tapeworm if it comes out (dead) of your anus. Just saying.

Mr_Sensitive 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 4:12

Fatties can get skinnier too, dick-for-shit.

nygirl8302 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 4:51

#1...just stop talking, dick-hole

davina_fml 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 5:15

Wow, what a ******. Its not only messed up cuz he said "at least you'll get skinnier" but the fact that he doesn't even care if you do have a tapeworm or whatever. That's one of my biggest fears, and if someone close to me was joking about it I would kick them in the balls. Nuff said.

name2notforget 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 5:31

He was obviously joking because if she had a tapeworm she wouldn't be having cramps. And never kick a guy in the balls, if you do you are a complete bitch

shadowkiss13 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 5:46

well most guys are simple minded and dense (no offense 2 guys) so he probably was tryn 2 cheer u up a bit ......probably

Rebecca1993 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 9:53

Men just don't think about things the same way we do lol

oceaneyes9 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 6:55

oh buddy that would not go over well if it was my boyfriend.

Cheekers1989 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 9:45

What a ******' dick. You should have kicked him in the nuts, and left. But, of course. I'm sure you stayed with the asshole. (Kinda like all these idiot woman do) =]