Health: Today, I was making my bed, which would normally be a simple...

By Username - 08/10/2010 10:53 - France

Today, I was making my bed, which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 264

You deserved it 10 471

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Same thing different taste

In pain

By Khail Lozano - 02/04/2022 00:00

Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 260

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 369

You deserved it 24 017

By Jeff - 02/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 14/04/2017 02:00

Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 146

You deserved it 396

By ouch... - 03/03/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 173

You deserved it 3 411

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 544

You deserved it 21 357

SO FRUSTRATING

By no one - 19/06/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 310

You deserved it 10 942

By Grant Williams - 07/05/2019 17:37

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 254

You deserved it 812

By IVOaf - 26/02/2014 20:55 - United States

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 566

You deserved it 4 870

By IHaveTwoOwies - 06/10/2017 13:00

Today, I pinched a nerve in my shoulder while pulling the bedcovers higher in the morning. After excruciating pain all day, I climbed back into bed at night, twisting my knee in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 068

You deserved it 404

Action_Bastard 0

Friday 8 October 2010 19:12

Oh man...pancaking a nut is the worst.

MetalFish 0

Friday 8 October 2010 19:18

dude..... you gotta be careful with those! they aren't like teeth you know, they don't grow back! you only get one set of nuts!

Comments

TheAfrorasta 0

Friday 8 October 2010 20:55

I thought you were a women up until the very last word. YDI

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Saturday 9 October 2010 0:08

A multiple women? Having extra nuts would come in handy then, I suppose.

unko_oa 0

Friday 8 October 2010 21:05

you've had them all your life and you still did that. YDI.

uggghhh298 0

Friday 8 October 2010 21:19

OUCH

bigbadtim 7

Friday 8 October 2010 21:24

Hope you didn't want to have kids.

samadams42 0

Friday 8 October 2010 21:35

ouch the old nut put sorry bro

afghan_angel 0

Friday 8 October 2010 21:45

seems like someone needs a nut job :P

Sekococo 0

Friday 8 October 2010 21:50

Impotent much?

muffpuncher 0

Friday 8 October 2010 21:52

... and you hear the balloon go POP!

iceTwy_fml 0

Friday 8 October 2010 22:10

ow... I can feel the pain

cmatthewf 0

Friday 8 October 2010 22:33

why is it always the left one??? =(

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 374

You deserved it 229

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 943

You deserved it 4 466

The Top

Today, as I was taking a shower, I felt something run down my back. Assuming it was water, I lathered up my loofah and scrubbed my back with it, only to hear a gross crunching sound. I pulled back my loofah to see a smushed, twitching cockroach that I had smeared on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 946

You deserved it 1 398

Today, I was getting ready to go pick up a few things for much-needed projects around the house, when I heard my husband yelling from the basement. The lawnmower had kicked a rock through the expensive sliding glass door we just finished paying off. The rattling refrigerator may have to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 135

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 943

You deserved it 1 270

Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 638

You deserved it 4 978

Today, my prom date and his family came over to take pictures. His dad happens to be my mom's gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 819

You deserved it 417

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 088

You deserved it 3 515

Same thing different taste

In pain

Wakey wakey

SO FRUSTRATING

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