Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It...

By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 539

You deserved it 29 644

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Same thing different taste

Defeated

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 23:08

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 165

You deserved it 5 454

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 10:06 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 20 722

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 861

You deserved it 401

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 33 480

Lock it up

By stickyface - 24/10/2010 05:18 - Canada

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 059

You deserved it 41 813

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 867

You deserved it 5 294

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 604

By cutiekenz21 - 31/07/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 804

You deserved it 8 376

By BigBangrocksthenight - 03/04/2010 00:31 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 597

You deserved it 10 473

jeepster7874 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 11:40

headshot! plus 50 points!

muchagente 5

Tuesday 22 March 2011 11:45

well done. that will teach her to knock and wait for an answer.

Comments

dansco 24

Friday 25 March 2011 7:27

Akward! Maybe you should've at least have shut the door first you horny devil lol. ;)

RonnieMacabre 0

Friday 25 March 2011 10:35

i hate this stupid ****** recurrent them... omfg me n bf were all ******* and stuff and parents walk in o nooooz.... who gives a good goddamn

dredill45 0

Friday 25 March 2011 16:55

she should of kicked your ass!! hahaha

i_fukked_JB 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 5:44

OMG! I just got a boner......

desser627 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 20:32

uhm, don't do those things when the parentols are home, duhh.

Cwfml_fml 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 19:12

It's the thought that counts.

diamondkidj 4

Wednesday 30 March 2011 1:11

#winning

maddyjayneexox 4

Thursday 31 March 2011 1:41

hahahahaa thats so something that would happen to me..

Ninabug28 5

Thursday 31 March 2011 17:01

I bet the mother loved that.

bazyx187 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 18:56

BOOM! HEADSHOT!! it woulda been worse if it got stuck on her head XD.

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The Top

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that he won’t let me meet his family. He sarcastically replied, “What, you mean my wife and kids? You’re a mistress, remember? You don’t get to meet my family.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 1 351

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 729

You deserved it 2 411

The Top

Today, my stepdaughter proudly showed off her new tattoo. It says "Jace’s place" in sloppy script on her lower belly. She’s 15. Jace is a boy she’s been seeing for 3 months. She got the tattoo in "some guy’s garage." It happened during her weekend visit with her father. Hello teenage rebellion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 894

You deserved it 187

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 91

Today, while taking the bus home, a girl stared at me for a while before asking me if I'd ever heard of makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 541

You deserved it 1 751

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 695

You deserved it 33 046

Today, I logged on to my Gmail account and to find that my brother had sent my math teacher a picture of Bigfoot peeing into a urinal. Using my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 523

You deserved it 1 308

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 946

You deserved it 4 610