Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little...

By Anonymous - 25/12/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 597

You deserved it 4 109

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Same thing different taste

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 632

You deserved it 31 359

By gimmeabreak0_o - 18/06/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 281

You deserved it 38 778

By lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 563

You deserved it 4 587

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 459

You deserved it 9 861

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 026

You deserved it 5 993

Strange kink

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 957

You deserved it 7 528

By ThePopeMan - 17/03/2009 17:42 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 150

You deserved it 23 115

The L word

By Anonymous - 26/05/2014 15:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 116

You deserved it 7 128

Technique

By jlowder2 - 11/12/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 209

You deserved it 31 183

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 208

XxSKELETOxX 0

Friday 25 December 2009 20:11

I'm assuming you guys are lesbians? I can't check the gender on FML Mobile, but it seems like it wouldn't matter if a guy took off his shirt. But chicks have boobs. On the other hand, that would be a pretty bad FML if OP is a guy

cookies7504 0

Friday 25 December 2009 20:04

dude get another gf

Comments

perdix 29

Saturday 26 December 2009 6:02

I guess she couldn't bear it. That's a pun, snafu57, you ignorant prick. My joke was a double entendre.

COBRAMORPH 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 6:40

Sounds like you couldnt score in the whorehouse that your GF works at with a $100 bill. Get her drunk & give her anal in front of them.

Ninjaface 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 8:00

Put her stuffed animals in sexual positions while she's in the bathroom. Then she won't have to worry about their "innocence" anymore.

xXCrazyPersonXx 0

Monday 12 April 2010 1:33

lol Great!!

KaynaBurrows 0

Thursday 13 October 2011 5:35

Thats awesome!!!

lilmszssy 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 6:24

youu deff stole that frum The N commercial

rhy12 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 8:41

wow that's just stupid!

daniDrPepper 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 17:33

wow. I feel sorry for you. I'm 14 and I don't even say stupid stuff like that, never have had to.

_CherryBomb_ 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 20:51

maybe someday she will grow up....

ditzykayla 0

Monday 28 December 2009 3:26

wow. you life sucks....but this made me laugh...and reminded me of the commercial they used to show on The N of the couple making out in her room...and out of no where she stops and turns all her stuffed animals heads around so they are facing the wall and not them...next time maybe you should do that for your girlfriend.haha.