Health: Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I... - FML

By dancincherrychic - 25/10/2015 19:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 3 511

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By missgayle319 - 15/03/2012 07:53 - United States

Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 282

You deserved it 13 021

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 269

You deserved it 6 092

By Blackshadows - 07/09/2015 18:08 - United States - Somerset

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 931

You deserved it 8 382

By PWI_addict - 03/01/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 238

You deserved it 35 583

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 939

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 988

You deserved it 58 482

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 08:01

Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 158

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 968

You deserved it 7 580

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 05:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 389

By Chef stupid - 11/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 158

You deserved it 2 536

Next

Top comments

Spark_Slicker 19

Monday 26 October 2015 10:17

Hannibal approves.

lukian_fml 29

Monday 26 October 2015 10:17

Pinkie pie!

Comments

derpyshy 16

Monday 26 October 2015 15:19

I work in a bakery and have had many close calls with that damn bread slicer. Cleaning that sucker is a literal pain. Hope you enjoy the homemade chips, OP. Salt or cinnamon sugar?

team_hale 11

Monday 26 October 2015 15:58

Did you cut it off or just cut it in general

Ilovelife93 9

Monday 26 October 2015 19:09

Oh, goodness!!! I had a similar problem, OP!!! When i was at my last Subway store, I was trying to be all smug and get a chunk of tomato out of the slicer with just my finger..no knife. The slicer won...best of luck, hon!!! Hopefully , you didn't need stitches!!!

dancincherrychic 8

Tuesday 27 October 2015 3:05

Thankfully I didn't need stitches, and I've been told the chunk I cut off will grow back--probably with a scar but at least it'll come back!

TMO2142 25

Monday 26 October 2015 19:31

Human tested. Cannibal approved

Goblin182 26

Monday 26 October 2015 20:57

I feel for you, OP. I took a chunk of my thumb off with a slicer.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 26 October 2015 21:01

Use salad shooter for that it makes perfect shoe string fries

LPS8585 26

Monday 26 October 2015 22:09

Yuck. So sorry. Happened to me, except I my thumb tip chips. Hurts! Heal fast.

bobthenob 14

Tuesday 27 October 2015 1:20

extra protein mate don't worry

megunn 1

Tuesday 27 October 2015 4:04

OMG. You just made me have a convulsion reading that. AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

randompassword 4

Tuesday 27 October 2015 5:25

My mom did the same thing slicing cucumbers, except with her thumb. It was still a great salad though..jk abt the great salad part! Hope your finger gets well

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Today, I told my long-distance partner that I wanted to take them on a date to the aquarium next time they're in town. They said, "That would be my first date ever!" When I asked about when we went to the zoo and dinner last week, they said it was, "the closest thing to a date" they'd had. Apparently, we're actually just friends. FML

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You deserved it 253

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 170

You deserved it 9 471

The Top

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 508

Today, it seems that despite being twins, my brother and I are very different people. Last week I got written up at work for taking too long a lunch break. This afternoon he got written up for having sex at work, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 99

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 970

You deserved it 2 809

Today, my mom has a new boyfriend. She insists he’s a good catch, because he makes enough from unemployment to afford Netflix and smoke weed every day, never mind that he doesn’t have a car, or a home of his own, or his original teeth, or underpants without holes in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 95

Today, the girl I like asked me to take over her shift at the place we both work at. Being nice, I readily took over. Later, I found out she went on a date with my best friend. He knows I like her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 641

You deserved it 2 299

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 056

You deserved it 16 176