Health: Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I...

By dancincherrychic - 25/10/2015 19:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 3 511

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Same thing different taste

By missgayle319 - 15/03/2012 07:53 - United States

Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 282

You deserved it 13 021

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 269

You deserved it 6 092

By Blackshadows - 07/09/2015 18:08 - United States - Somerset

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 931

You deserved it 8 382

By PWI_addict - 03/01/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 238

You deserved it 35 583

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 939

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 988

You deserved it 58 482

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 08:01

Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 158

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 968

You deserved it 7 580

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 05:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 389

By Chef stupid - 11/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 158

You deserved it 2 536

Spark_Slicker 19

Monday 26 October 2015 10:17

Hannibal approves.

lukian_fml 29

Monday 26 October 2015 10:17

Pinkie pie!

Comments

JohnForge 13

Monday 26 October 2015 12:35

Why'd you post it here? Go to a hospital.

XxDanno316xX 27

Monday 26 October 2015 14:59

Well sir, that's what this site is for...

JohnForge 13

Monday 26 October 2015 19:53

Yes, yes I know. But I genuinely care about other people, and I don't like it when they are hurt. By themselves or others.

Tejanoswhy 19

Monday 26 October 2015 12:40

That's a dicey situation

areid2000 13

Monday 26 October 2015 19:30

Don't do that

isaak_sanchez 18

Monday 26 October 2015 12:56

Was it good?

HotFrosty 14

Monday 26 October 2015 13:17

Yucky. Soylent green chips are gross.

Publikwerks 14

Monday 26 October 2015 13:43

I've done that with a mandolin slicer. Wasn't using a guard, and took a hunk my index finger. Makes my fingerprint even more unique.

ThrottleJockey 35

Tuesday 27 October 2015 2:57

You were slicing up a small guitar? Seems like an expensive and stringy batch of chips. High in fiber though I suppose...

SadisticStephyy 21

Monday 26 October 2015 14:13

As someone who has done the same thing (but using regular potatoes) with her thumb, I can tell you most of your fingerprint will return :)

roys1girl 18

Monday 26 October 2015 14:35

Welp, that batch is all yours!

Tyrez 32

Monday 26 October 2015 14:37

My favorite flavor.

raaron773 19

Monday 26 October 2015 14:51

Sorry about your pinkie finger OP. Hope it gets better soon.

shaunr40k 20

Monday 26 October 2015 15:17

I did the same thing but to my thumb

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 435

You deserved it 7 439

Today, thanks to my husband's obsession with needing a massive garage built instead of a bog standard garden shed, we dug up some Roman building last week, and our garden is now swarming with archaeologists banging on about history and ruining my weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 1 152

The Top

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 958

You deserved it 3 998

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 760

You deserved it 73 647

Today, I woke up and went down to my apartment's underground garage/laundry area to do my laundry and noticed my family's car in the back of the lot, as far away from the garage door as can be, had been broken into. The other, more expensive cars around the garage were untouched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 143

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 299

You deserved it 3 863

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 456

You deserved it 9 979

Today, I was showing my boss a picture on my phone. I didn’t expect her to take my phone from my hand and continue to flip through photos. I anxiously motioned for her to give my phone back, only to realize she had already swiped to my nude picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 017

You deserved it 806

Same thing different taste

Gammon

Slicy slicy

Unfortunate

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