By omfgnooo - 09/09/2011 23:22 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 859
You deserved it 54 892
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

turtleomnom 0

clearly we know deep throat isn't a talent of yours.

316 7
Nuahavizu 17

And here i thought that WALKING and chewing gum was tough :P

239 6

Comments

Flaminghomo 2

Even though I'm male..think of all the females you just scarred with that story..

0 0
zacharyhaer 0

Wait till your home alone next time, maybe 3 hrs of choking could teach u not when mom is home?

0 0
kangas94 6

Akward! I suggest that you should not chew gum next time

0 0
xxxmoneyxxx 0

Well, what did we learn "not" to do today? Don't chew gum and **********. Who would've actually thought that it was Going to go sour

0 0
afatlazyturtle 6

Sometimes, you just don't multitask very bad things happen..

0 0
mbrooks811 5

Daym...maybe you shouldnt have been chewing gum...haha

0 0
kevoo_fml 3

Hahahahaha, wow, hope this never happens to me lol

0 0
Alice_laughed 13

So, chewing gum while masturbating is a bad plan. I probably could've figured that out all by myself, but I appreciate you testing it out for me.

0 0
TheAPPLESLAVE 4

Better aluve than dead, even if your mum knows you wank.

0 0
pilotdude8147 3

Dude, chewing gum and masterbating are 2 things that shouldn't be combined. And if your door has a lock, use it bro.

1 0