Love: Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting... - FML

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By r4inb0wbrit3 - 13/07/2012 07:37 - United States - Townsend

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 525

You deserved it 37 944

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 393

You deserved it 2 631

By anonymous - 24/10/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 663

You deserved it 4 079

By Anonymous - 14/06/2016 02:39 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 244

You deserved it 954

Felicia doesn't approve

By uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 815

You deserved it 3 541

And I oop

By SuperBunny - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 015

You deserved it 62 567

By Starchyld - 11/11/2009 12:21 - Canada

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 946

You deserved it 4 139

Clean break

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 11:02

Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 344

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 188

You deserved it 8 140

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 954

You deserved it 2 638

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 693

You deserved it 4 529

Next

Top comments

AwsumShyGuy 12

Friday 13 July 2012 16:12

Yeah, you shouldn't have said that in the first place anyways. Even if it wasn't his mother. Remember that hobo story?

SpoonsAndPickles 5

Friday 13 July 2012 16:27

I'm wondering why they didn't greet each other

Comments

XboxOneGodess 8

Friday 14 March 2014 8:23

Who casually passes their mother and not say hi before your dumbass says something? What...

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 31 August 2014 1:48

Who doesn't greet their mother?

Host2phats 21

Tuesday 1 December 2015 21:13

OH DAMN!!! #Burn

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The Top

Today, I asked my fiancee to drive me to the airport for a business trip in a few days. She ranted angrily that she already had plans, so I asked my mom to take me instead. Now she's pissed and saying, "Why don't you just go marry your mommy, since she does everything for you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 93

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I get along with her mother just fine. Apparently, it’s not natural for a son-in-law and mother-in-law to get along this well, we should hate each other on principle, so liking each other just fine is somehow majorly suspicious and she can’t trust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 783

You deserved it 7 233

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 583

You deserved it 9 477

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 541

You deserved it 3 548

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 384

You deserved it 2 298

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 2 385

Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 633

You deserved it 3 003