Intimacy: Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly...

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By NotSoSexy - 26/11/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly told me it was sexy, so I continued while making obscene gestures and moans. Suddenly he began to look nervous. I turned around to see my dad looking at me, disgusted and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 426

You deserved it 30 378

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By BARF - 27/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 548

You deserved it 130 385

By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00

Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 927

You deserved it 4 763

Ahem

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 734

You deserved it 78 336

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 692

You deserved it 10 172

Listening in

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 539

You deserved it 17 461

By lovely321 - 02/04/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 723

You deserved it 50 128

Danger zone

By didntevenknow - 13/08/2012 15:06 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 575

You deserved it 38 155

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 814

By thefuckedupbunny - 18/08/2019 20:00

Today, while on the train with my dad, my boyfriend sent me a message. It was a nude, and when I looked, my dad saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 904

Caught in 4K

By Oops - 03/01/2016 19:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 299

You deserved it 19 603

Jannick_fml 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 9:13

[double facepalm]

DameGreyWulf 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 9:09

[facepalm]

Comments

DameGreyWulf 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 9:09

[facepalm]

wooters 1

Tuesday 18 May 2010 3:52

what's facepalm?

Mouldy666 0

Monday 21 June 2010 12:18

fail

shumian 4

Saturday 14 May 2011 16:04

Facepalm^

jaybear13 14

Thursday 2 May 2013 15:27

39 :epicfacepalm:

Jannick_fml 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 9:13

[double facepalm]

hellokittywhore 0

Sunday 7 February 2010 6:51

[triple facepalm] nowhere near ss what my friends mom walked in on. her masterbating with a curling iron!!!!! I kid you not!!!!

coolster56 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 10:59

how can you do that

lan_drake 9

Monday 1 March 2010 9:05

when the curling iron isn't hot ....I hope

flakes_fml 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 2:20

[quadruple facepalm]

hiloman500 0

Monday 6 September 2010 15:14

[headfist]

Ninjaface 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 9:15

Well, I'm not surprised that your dad would be disgusted by the ink all over your face from the marker exploding. At least you weren't using it to pleasure yourself, then you could have ended up carrying a neon-blue baby!