Intimacy: Ahem

Ahem

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 724

You deserved it 78 319

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 17 446

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 414

You deserved it 23 272

By crazyt446 - 11/07/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 469

You deserved it 71 653

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 585

You deserved it 47 214

You have the same voice!

By EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 522

You deserved it 24 084

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 816

You deserved it 6 576

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 978

You deserved it 7 874

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 630

You deserved it 4 983

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 51 000

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 689

You deserved it 30 693

killface_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 9:44

Next time use a cell phone.

lol_everyday 0

Monday 30 March 2009 9:51

HAHAHAHA. don't you have a cell phone???

Comments

killface_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 9:44

Next time use a cell phone.

fmlurlife 0

Friday 26 February 2010 1:05

lol your picture goes perfect with what u said

aiden0515 0

Monday 19 April 2010 6:16

oh what r those celular devices caked again oh yeah cell phones

natsaysheyyy 16

Wednesday 13 March 2013 22:13

I thought most people have gotten rid of their landlines by now...

GreekYogurt 26

Thursday 3 September 2015 12:57

The more you know.

reset_button 0

Monday 30 March 2009 9:47

Actions speak louder than words

lol_everyday 0

Monday 30 March 2009 9:51

HAHAHAHA. don't you have a cell phone???

f__kY_urLif__ 0

Monday 30 March 2009 9:52

use a cell phone jeeez

Templemind47 0

Monday 30 March 2009 9:53

Why did he wait to listen to the whole thing?

rjensen511 0

Friday 8 April 2011 22:46

my thoughts exactly! WTF?!?!

Jimboom 11

Monday 30 March 2009 10:08

It's ok. If you only realised your dad was listening when he coughed you may be in the clear. He may have picked up the phone to call a sex chat line and thought the phone had connected him straight away. Otherwise if you have a younger brother blame it on them calling a sex line or something. Deny everything. Oh yea and next time actually use your brain and use a cellphone.

lpaul49 0

Monday 30 March 2009 10:12

It's a little weird that he listened to the whole thing.

Blanadestroyer 0

Monday 30 March 2009 10:20

Calling your father "impolite" for overhearing your conversation would be slightly inappropriate. The fact is he's a creepy pervert. In case he has some dumb questions or witty remarks about it, tell him you do it on a regular basis and if he wants to listen to you talking dirty again he has to pay you like all the other guys...

lpaul49 0

Monday 30 March 2009 10:24

You're dad was probably beating off to what you were saying. He wants your vag.

Nate_87 0

Monday 30 March 2009 10:30

Did it ever occur to anyone that the OP doesn't own a cellphone? Or her family is too poor to get cellphones for the entire family? Cellphones are dumb anyhow. They cause too many accidents, annoy the hell out of people around them... I could go on...

pinkdottedbow 0

Friday 1 October 2010 12:28

If the OP doesn't have a cell phone, then chances are she's not old enough to be doing this with a boyfriend, and should use somas common sense before using a shared landline to say things like that.