Intimacy: Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands...

By swedishguy - 05/10/2009 17:22 - Sweden

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 391

You deserved it 5 030

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 552

You deserved it 6 260

Cheers

By ineedanotherdrink - 07/08/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 847

You deserved it 5 542

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 18 019

Not a player

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 14:00

Today, and forever, I've never had a woman try to hit on me, so when my barista asked if I’d like to come to her place after her shift, I didn’t immediately realise she meant sex, so I actually stupidly said, “What for?” She got embarrassed and people glared at me like I was scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 531

By Anonymous - 11/04/2015 22:05 - United States - Shelby

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 942

You deserved it 11 913

By anonymous neighbor - 30/01/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 6 641

On a promise

By cuz803 - 12/08/2022 00:00

Today, after two and a half years of being single, I locked eyes with a cute girl. We were the same height at 6'1 so we joked that if we had a baby, it'd be huge. After some flirting, roughhousing, and making out, she gave me her number, and told me to bring condoms to her place. Then I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 368

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 00:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 893

You deserved it 4 681

Smooth

By firstdategonebad - 12/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 965

You deserved it 2 589

By jobless - 20/01/2009 16:52 - France

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 058

You deserved it 12 988

darthhamlet 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:17

since when is minor contact close to getting laid?!?

xxorganizedmess 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:21

Miss the point much?

Comments

glostik 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 2:19

Haha! Loser :P

keywestlov 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 2:30

lmfao

atvarela 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 2:31

was this fml deleted or so ething?

jw90 18

Tuesday 6 October 2009 2:32

Lol but if it was..eh eh

lahp 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 3:14

if your that desperate get a hooker jeeasse

managethis8 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 4:12

Why would you put yourself down in front of so many. Geezus man, if it's been that long, grab ahold and get on with it! Don't tell everybody your that nasty that nobody gave you any in so long....

managethis8 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 4:13

Are you kidding me! What the hell kinda comment is that? It sounds, actually, that maybe you are gay. Take a good Hard look at yourself.

fringle 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 6:16

this is stupid. today I did something completely nonsexual and it was the most sexual thing I've done for ______

plexico 3

Tuesday 6 October 2009 6:38

I'd be happy to kick you in the 'nads. I believe have that area contacted by a dude counts as being closer to being laid than an accidental brush of a female's hand. Just helpin' where I can.