Miscellaneous: Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight,...

By baby shak - 14/01/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 759

You deserved it 6 289

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Same thing different taste

By tallguy - 29/08/2013 13:40 - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 593

You deserved it 4 395

By getyourownbike - 12/05/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 809

You deserved it 12 921

By walkingisfun - 02/07/2017 20:00

Today, the university bike permit that I'd ordered half a year ago finally arrived. Unfortunately, my bike was stolen months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 837

You deserved it 307

By Amandajean32 - 05/08/2010 00:02 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 835

You deserved it 2 631

By brokeasscollegelife - 20/11/2015 21:25 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 656

You deserved it 3 458

By UnluckyTeen - 22/10/2009 11:29 - Singapore

Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 870

You deserved it 3 412

By Potato_Lord - 12/11/2015 04:11 - United States - Madison

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 784

You deserved it 1 475

By Blue_Heart - 05/09/2015 18:47 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 883

You deserved it 1 969

By Anonymous - 28/10/2013 06:31 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 158

You deserved it 3 943

BIKES!

By Jjay08 - 26/04/2016 21:17 - United States - Miles City

Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 667

You deserved it 1 132

aFreedom127 9

Saturday 14 January 2012 12:10

Chase the thief...it will be good exercise.

Buttsexpirate 9

Saturday 14 January 2012 12:11

******* garden gnomes. Always causing mischief.

Comments

xsterlingsilverx 5

Saturday 14 January 2012 12:22

Street Stretch! (10 points to anyone who gets the reference. Lol.)

Clamcreepy 7

Saturday 14 January 2012 14:18

10 pts? does this look like yahoo answers? Or a bunch of scooby dogs eager for scooby snacks?

sheethapins 13

Saturday 14 January 2012 15:49

I want a phucking Scooby Snack...

IKickPuppiesHard 16

Saturday 14 January 2012 16:16

Scooby always made scooby snacks look so freaking good.

DeathBunny218 37

Saturday 14 January 2012 12:23

I'm guessing if it wasn't stolen you would still be "planning" your fitness regime.

The_Great_Bevis 3

Saturday 14 January 2012 12:36

Well sorry OP but the thief is probably getting more exercise then you were "planning" to unless he sold it

ladyLALAA 28

Saturday 14 January 2012 12:38

At least you didn't make the whole house shake.. Yet...

Michael_92 20

Monday 16 January 2012 13:21

Is that a reference to a past FML?

naddification 7

Saturday 14 January 2012 12:45

"Guns don't kill people. Nuh-uh. I kill people, with guns. Pow." Use that gun.

OhHushDear 11

Saturday 14 January 2012 21:40

What are you even talking about??

thegreatbigwhite 2

Saturday 14 January 2012 13:16

IT'S REGIMEN NOT REGIME! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Enslaved 36

Saturday 14 January 2012 14:06

Regime is a correct term but I first thought the OP was staging a coup to free the radicals.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 14 January 2012 14:06

I CAN'T TRUST PEOPLE TYPING IN FULL CAPS! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Levvy 22

Saturday 14 January 2012 17:31

No. Regime means a prevailing political/governance system. It is nowhere near correct.

Lemou_fml 25

Tuesday 13 June 2017 21:17

Levvy - Open a dictionary. Sincerely, a random guy who uses English as third language.

mbuck87 19

Saturday 14 January 2012 13:20

Im sure you're one of those people who always finds an excuse anyway, hence the 6 months

loller27 6

Saturday 14 January 2012 13:34

the garden? really?

KelBelAndNats 7

Saturday 14 January 2012 13:37

I lock my bike in the shed so this can't happen. But that's logical I guess.

bassdownlow11 1

Saturday 14 January 2012 13:41

There's your sign

Keywords

Weddings Awkward Miscellaneous My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Money

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I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 561

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 235

You deserved it 5 157

The Top

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 589

You deserved it 3 944

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 339

You deserved it 14 674

Today, I found out my boyfriend accounts for my being late all the time whenever we go out. For example, he will ask me to be ready by 7, knowing I don't actually need to be ready until 7:45. He was so good at it that it's taken me 6 months of dating to notice. Am I insulted or impressed, I don't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 2 740

Today, everyone has been advised to stay home and self-quarantine due to the COVID19 outbreak. This would've been great and all, especially since I'm pregnant and need the bed rest, but I work as a doctor and we're understaffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 194

Today, I found out my mom has literally spent all her savings sending money to some bullshit-peddling megachurch televangelist, who apparently told her that giving them money would ensure her future fortune. Tithings, my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 102

Today, my cousin died of a very treatable illness. She was pressured into herbal and holistic "faith healing" instead of seeking "poisonous western filth". Her husband, church and family all seem to think she made the right choice. I’ve been shunned for disagreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 100

Same thing different taste

BIKES!

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