Kids: Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly...

FML for mobile
Free

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 346

You deserved it 2 942

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 496

You deserved it 46 178

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 983

You deserved it 7 448

By ElamentalAngel - 06/05/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 341

You deserved it 83 904

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 622

You deserved it 845

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 578

You deserved it 4 704

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 16:04 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 363

You deserved it 6 827

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 043

You deserved it 6 864

Messy

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 583

You deserved it 6 658

But he's only 5

By Anonymous - 18/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 734

Not her fault nor mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 543

You deserved it 464

triplebeerox 27

Monday 23 March 2015 14:10

You definitely need to talk to the mom so she doesn't think you're molesting her kid

Johnnycake23 42

Monday 23 March 2015 14:09

Kids are little demons!

Comments

hellolaina 18

Monday 25 July 2016 23:01

Reason #39373 why I hate children

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Animals Gross Miscellaneous Neighbours Scary Awkward Food Money Parents Kids ACAB Family Cops Love Annoying Poopoo peepee Ironic Work Bosses Embarrassing Technology Geek Students School Education My ex Cheating Pregnancy Public freakouts AITA

The Top

Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 1 220

Today, my fling with a local waiter ended. I'm studying for a professional designation exam, I make $130k/year, and I have a lake house in the mountains. He smokes pot in his mom's basement, has been arrested for stealing, has totaled 3 cars, and would rather collect unemployment than work. He dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 2 559

The Top

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 664

You deserved it 4 623

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 376

You deserved it 5 631

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 561

You deserved it 6 134

Today, my husband told his parents that he was quitting his job so that he could focus on school. They asked him what he was going to do for money. When I told them that I'd be the one working, they took one look at me and burst into laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 4 328

Today, my wife finally let our kids stay the night at my mom's house, meaning we had our first night totally alone together in 6 years. She spent all night texting my mom for updates on the kids or on the phone to her sister, so I watched a film by myself then went to bed bored at 8:15 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 184

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 195

You deserved it 8 081