Kids: Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly...

FML for mobile
Free

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 346

You deserved it 2 942

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 496

You deserved it 46 178

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 983

You deserved it 7 448

By ElamentalAngel - 06/05/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 341

You deserved it 83 903

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 622

You deserved it 845

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 578

You deserved it 4 704

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 16:04 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 363

You deserved it 6 826

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 043

You deserved it 6 864

Messy

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 583

You deserved it 6 658

But he's only 5

By Anonymous - 18/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 734

Not her fault nor mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 543

You deserved it 464

triplebeerox 27

Monday 23 March 2015 14:10

You definitely need to talk to the mom so she doesn't think you're molesting her kid

Johnnycake23 42

Monday 23 March 2015 14:09

Kids are little demons!

Comments

horsegirl96 1

Monday 23 March 2015 15:20

I honestly read that you licked his armpits

dreamful_artist 14

Monday 23 March 2015 15:41

I bet that put a good image in her mind.

assassinbanana0 20

Monday 23 March 2015 18:40

I'm pretty sure she doesn't want that "good image" in her mind.

Johnnycake23 42

Monday 23 March 2015 15:44

My biggest fear is some kid will falsely accuse me of molestation. That shit ruins your life no matter how innocent you are!

Paras_800 27

Monday 23 March 2015 16:19

If you explain what you were doing, I bet the mom will understand.

heryseshta 9

Monday 23 March 2015 16:22

And people wonder why I don't like to interact with kids, this is fairly common.

ShadowGenius 12

Monday 23 March 2015 17:17

This reminds me of an episode of South Park

Johnnycake23 42

Monday 23 March 2015 18:11

My ex fiancee loved to tickle me because I'm a big dog and would squeal like a little girl. Hated that shit!

davincidasecond 24

Monday 23 March 2015 19:23

So there's a chance I might see you on Steve Wilkos now?

Stillo 25

Monday 23 March 2015 19:24

Kids.... Aren't they just great..... Meh

iRambo 12

Monday 23 March 2015 19:26

What did the mother say in this?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Gross Food ACAB Family Cops Love Technology Miscellaneous Embarrassing Geek My ex Cheating Pregnancy Public freakouts AITA Customers Work Plumbing Money Awkward Healthy Lifestyle Sex Relatable Kids Parenting Relationship advice Argument Animals Dogs Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 342

You deserved it 9 213

Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 622

You deserved it 70 916

The Top

Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 240

You deserved it 479

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 696

You deserved it 1 321

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 136

You deserved it 56 923

Today, a cute stranger waved at me on the street. I waved back enthusiastically, smiling like an idiot. Then I realized she was waving at her dog behind me. I then turned around and waved at the dog, then scurried home to bury my embarrassment in a pillow on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 124

Today, when my husband told me years ago he wanted to parent just like his dad used to, I had no idea that meant helping with practical stuff like cooking and nappy changing, but otherwise ignoring our kid's emotional well-being and telling them to buzz off when they try to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 172

Today, my boss joined me on my vacation, to "make sure I actually went". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 591

You deserved it 929

Same thing different taste

It's not what you think

Messy

But he's only 5

Not her fault nor mine

Top comments

Comments