By fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 664
You deserved it 3 572

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Restaurants are like that, very specific about hygiene. Its a good thing that cleanliness is a priority but that sucks that you got fired over something stupid like that. Sorry.

I wouldn't be too butter about it, OP. Instead talk it with the restaurant owner, and hope that they're a food enough person to re-hire you and have a little talk with the head chef.

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By the sounds of it, OP's boss wouldn't have taken a talk or explanation into consideration. Also, it begs the question, OP, do you know why your boss had it out for you?

When you make assumptions you make an ASS out of U and... ummm. UMPTION!

Restaurants are like that, very specific about hygiene. Its a good thing that cleanliness is a priority but that sucks that you got fired over something stupid like that. Sorry.

It also doesn't help that the head chef didn't like you. it sucks working in restaurants. I work in prep and kitchen work stinks.

Your wrong, most cooks are nasty filthy people. I've been to 2 restaurants where one place the cool stunk like dirty ass so bad I left. The other was a neighbor and his house inside and out was dirty and smelly. it's wrong and messed up but it's true.

TheDrifter 23

Extra flavor. Is that what's in the special sauce?

Llama_Face89 33

Guess people can't take a joke.

I wouldn't be too butter about it, OP. Instead talk it with the restaurant owner, and hope that they're a food enough person to re-hire you and have a little talk with the head chef.

Baytheshark 14

Too butter? I didn't realize it was possible to be a dairy product, 6.

It was supposed to be a pun because OP was working in a kitchen.

Baytheshark 14

I'm sure that wasn't the case, but nice try.

Are you serious? You missed the "food enough person" pun too? I mean shit, I know the execution was poor--I would've known that even without the thumbs down--but the butter and food were definitely intentional. Nice try, though.

Baytheshark 14
Allornone 35

You must be really fun to have parties, then, 28.

hcollins1 18

Baytheshark, just stop trying. I'm surprised you haven't stop considering you're the only person getting thumbed down. If other people thought his joke was bad, then he would've gotten his comment thumbed down. Just because you don't like the joke doesn't mean you have to say so and keep going on about it. All you have to do is thumb him down on go on with your life. You seem to be the only person that has a problem with his comment.

smc3106 25

You're terrible at puns, even if some idiots think you deserve a thumbs up.

smc3106 25

pun /pən/ Noun~A joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words that sound alike but have different meanings.

Read ManInTheMachine's Profile Text and then follow it. Thank You Food Sir.

smc3106 25

If YOU'D read his profile, you'd see that he wants his mistakes pointed out to him, get off of his d!©|< and learn to take your own advice.

sonofposeidon22 5

#48: You, sir, are a Class-A asshole.

Holy shit people, calm the **** down. I already admitted that it was a shitty comment. I've been around here a while, so it happens occasionally. Admittedly, it's tough to be consistently witty and funny. smc3106-Yes, in my profile I did ask for correction. That is, polite suggestions and pointing out my errors respectfully, not talking down to me and calling my comment shit while simultaneously calling the people that thumbed me up idiots. It appears that there's a rod in your ass that might need removal. If people liked it, as the majority have showed, they will thumb it up. It doesn't make them stupid, it just means they liked it. Thank you.

RedPillSucks 31

Don't sweat it ManInTheMachine. At least you have the balls to try. Sometimes you get it and sometimes you dont. People don't need to be assholes about it. If they don't like the puns simply thumb down. If they think it was lame, there are more polite ways to respond.

smc3106 25

I didn't thumb down your stupid joke, I thumbed you down for your OBVIOUS stupidity. You don't even know what a pun is, yet, you're talking shit to someone about it.

You're a ******* idiot, you know that? A pun doesn't have to use exact words or direct homonyms to qualify as a pun. Since you obviously pulled your definition STRAIGHT from Google (and your intelligence from your ass), I pulled up a more apt definition from dictionary.com. The second part of the first definition states: "... or the use of words that are alike or NEARLY ALIKE in sound but different in meaning; a play on words." For your idiotic sake, I also went to a pun website to give an example of what I did: 'Did you remember to buy me the coffee with ice cream inside it?'. 'Oh I'm sorry, affogato!'. Sidney - Sydney, Australia Does "affogato" sound EXACTLY like "I forgot"? No, it doesn't, but because the words, when spoken, are similar in sound, it qualifies as a pun. Would you then agree that "bitter"->"butter", "good"->"food" sound similar? Probably not, as you obviously hate to be wrong and get some form of arousal from being a condescending douche canoe to others. That doesn't, however, change the fact that you are. Now, kindly **** off.

"Holy shit people, calm the **** down."

Man in the machine what part of ontario are you in? I live there as well & to the other assholes I've been reading FML for quite some time and man in the machine is everywhere leave the guy alone he didn't do anything wrong everyone makes mistakes here and there

64-South-eastern Ontario, but that's about as specific as I'm getting. :)

Maybe you should have turned away and/or left the room. That's pretty nasty. :/

But we don't know what he did; maybe he did turn away/back off, as is required, and the boss was just being a dick. Perhaps not, but it's always best to give the benefit of the doubt.

Yea I would of walked away from the food and coughed. I'm not big on cough flavored food.

Baytheshark 14

what the hell is wrong with you ? in a situation like this all OP would have to do is talk to the manager or restaurant owner for a chance to save his job . yeah , spitting on someone solves all problems and makes it that much better ! :/ a spitting FML or not , that's gross

klovemachine 24

I hope that restaurant loses business and shuts down. Or the head chef gets a beatdown :)

olpally 32

Wow, what a dick move. File a complaint? That's a stupid reason to fire someone.

It's really not a stupid reason at all. It's highly against health code to cough in someone's food. OP should have left the kitchen entirely.

olpally 32

I understand, but the boss already hated him for no reason.