Animals: Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard....

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 20:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 636

You deserved it 8 870

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Same thing different taste

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 962

By Kira - 24/04/2015 17:09 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 922

You deserved it 13 578

By jodulieu - 02/09/2010 02:31 - France

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 647

You deserved it 4 454

By magicman - 04/07/2012 09:04 - United States

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 31 439

By cycler - 13/06/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 963

You deserved it 12 633

Adding insult to injury

By Shibs - 13/10/2015 16:55 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 420

You deserved it 1 788

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 516

You deserved it 3 876

Pile on

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 618

You deserved it 12 685

By Anonymous - 14/09/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 242

You deserved it 5 507

By anonymous - 25/06/2016 20:03 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 537

You deserved it 947

howslife123 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:26

F the lizards life!!

Tyler12108 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:26

poor lizard :'(

Comments

snafu63 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:06

wow, way to use the brakes. oh wait...

MYOB1997 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:13

A lizard? Never seen one of those in the road.

Stephielovesyouu 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:31

ghbj

lemlikesrainbows 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:31

FYL, but hey, at least you tried!

laciloves 1

Monday 18 July 2011 3:33

Poor lizard just wanted to chill outside for once :(

zxjellydonutxz 7

Monday 18 July 2011 3:34

lol that made my day:)

Monkeyone 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:37

Hahahahaha

smexehXredhead0 0

Monday 18 July 2011 3:44

Geico, save 15% or more on-- never mind...

Uneedanapbro 6

Monday 18 July 2011 3:46

What about the lizard's feeling in this ordeal?

grapisy 8

Monday 18 July 2011 3:55

Have we learned what brakes are for now?

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The Top

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 237

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 662

You deserved it 11 279

Today, I'm so out of shape that my arm ached after lifting chips out of a Lays bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 1 188

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 778

You deserved it 5 438

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 124

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I'd met on Facebook, we went back to his apartment. All was going good, until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 773

You deserved it 19 873

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 353

You deserved it 3 417

Same thing different taste

Adding insult to injury

Pile on

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