Animals: Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard....

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 20:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 636

You deserved it 8 870

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 962

By Kira - 24/04/2015 17:09 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 922

You deserved it 13 578

By jodulieu - 02/09/2010 02:31 - France

Today, I fell off my bike. I grazed my knee, shin, thigh, hip, collar bone, shoulder and face. I also strained my wrist. As I was wheeling my bike away, I stung my other leg on nettles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 647

You deserved it 4 454

By magicman - 04/07/2012 09:04 - United States

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 31 439

By cycler - 13/06/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 963

You deserved it 12 633

Adding insult to injury

By Shibs - 13/10/2015 16:55 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I was riding my bike along a road and a deer jumped out from the tree line, knocking me to the ground and breaking my arm. Someone pulled over to see if I was alright, running over my bike in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 420

You deserved it 1 788

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 516

You deserved it 3 876

Pile on

By turtle - 12/07/2011 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 618

You deserved it 12 685

By Anonymous - 14/09/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 242

You deserved it 5 507

By anonymous - 25/06/2016 20:03 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was taking a hike through the Appalachians. I lost my balance in a steep area, and grabbed for a root along the trail above me. It turned to not be a root, but a large, angry snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 537

You deserved it 947

howslife123 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:26

F the lizards life!!

Tyler12108 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:26

poor lizard :'(

Comments

jaff23 11

Monday 18 July 2011 0:46

no good deeds goes unpunished

danceparty8 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:47

that really sucks for the lizard because u kno........ it's dead

bobbymullet 11

Monday 18 July 2011 0:50

isn't this stolen from another FML..? eff your life if you can't even think of an original FML.

GoodLookingGeese 10

Monday 18 July 2011 0:51

at least you tried!

Cheylnlee 1

Monday 18 July 2011 0:53

Uh, does anyone else seem to notice these FML's are starting to sound similar? "Today I swerved my ____ to avoid hitting a ____. I ended up blah blah blah only to find that the thing I was avoiding still ended up getting hit. FML."

zeinyzay 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:59

they're always similar today I found out that my boyfriend/ girlfriend a) is cheating on me b) does something weird during sex I find this FML is pretty different from all the others!

touch_the_sky 7

Monday 18 July 2011 2:50

How is this one pretty different when just last week there was one EXACTLY like this involving a turtle.

zeinyzay 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:56

sorry :( it's the thought that counts though!

starsfan_9 7

Monday 18 July 2011 1:01

What were you thinking?! You could have saved 15% or more by switching to Geico...but then you killed him. tsk tsk tsk. All joking aside, that sucks OP

Super_Salo 0

Monday 18 July 2011 1:02

Why didn't you just keep going?

knocking 0

Monday 18 July 2011 1:02

I'd say the lizard is worse off than you. At least you are still alive, albeit skinned up and feeling a little guilty.

mzkris26 0

Monday 18 July 2011 1:02

where do you live? the desert.....

Person1233 12

Monday 18 July 2011 1:11

Just Florida.

HahaYDI 0

Monday 18 July 2011 1:20

Yep it says Florida, so OP's lucky it wasn't an alligator.

sourgirl101 28

Monday 18 July 2011 4:07

Here in FL, my local bar has a huge fish tank that raises alligators. There's about 20 in the tank at a time and when they get too big they get a new batch of babies. Super cool!(: