Miscellaneous: Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff...

By Anonymous - 25/04/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 243

You deserved it 4 871

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 15:34 - United States

Today, I was running a marathon for my school. Two hot girls started talking to me, so I glanced at them, and smiled. I turned back, just in time to knee a little boy in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 130

You deserved it 7 802

By crazycatlady1890 - 02/05/2019 18:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 459

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 059

You deserved it 36 592

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 108

You deserved it 6 227

Volunteering gone too far

By Tattooed and Sexy - 18/06/2023 22:00

Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 00:01

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 967

You deserved it 128

By FatRunner - 05/11/2009 07:41 - New Zealand

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 954

You deserved it 5 272

By luvs2spooge89 - 01/05/2013 14:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 899

You deserved it 76 486

By rolypoly - 05/03/2014 12:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 509

You deserved it 5 645

By runandmope - 29/07/2010 03:00 - United States

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 823

You deserved it 8 956

truehitman2010 0

Monday 25 April 2011 23:09

we need a Wtf? button

oliveindamiddle 0

Monday 25 April 2011 23:08

I don't think this is a fyl or a ydi... it's just one of those moments in life where you're like.. WTF. :)

Comments

emodude44 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 1:51

In todays pro feminist society, the dirty old man has been pushed aside. What replaces him? Why who else but the dirty old woman!

Ass_Kick 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:05

she probably has lots of experience. Get in there

nygiantsfan85 8

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:05

You should have asked her to help you. lol lol

bignasty29 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:07

least it was a woman. Could have been the herb the perv from family guy

mecaifine24 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:19

that's not even bad, that's just funny!!!

gr3ymask 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:36

That isn't so bad

oemgeezz 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:43

maybe she was being encouraging

oemgeezz 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:46

maybe she was being encouraging

nerdsgetmehot 22

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:49

You should have asked that cougar for her number. Hit that!

KushTaeKush 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:50

haha were you only rubbing your legs

Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, my father stumbled upon the quickest way to get me out of bed in the morning: ripping out my nose stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 400

You deserved it 3 439

Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 913

You deserved it 26 436

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 118

Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I'd just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said, "You don't have to lie, some people just aren't cut out for college. There's no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 839

You deserved it 2 954

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 028

You deserved it 40 330

Today, I realised I'm like the Mary Poppins of dating. I keep meeting these broken men, I help them through their stuff, only for them to date someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 120

Same thing different taste

Volunteering gone too far

Top comments

Comments