Miscellaneous: Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff...

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By Anonymous - 25/04/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 251

You deserved it 4 872

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 15:34 - United States

Today, I was running a marathon for my school. Two hot girls started talking to me, so I glanced at them, and smiled. I turned back, just in time to knee a little boy in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 136

You deserved it 7 809

By crazycatlady1890 - 02/05/2019 18:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 063

You deserved it 36 604

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 113

You deserved it 6 230

Volunteering gone too far

By Tattooed and Sexy - 18/06/2023 22:00

Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 225

Gotta start somewhere

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 00:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I went outside to start jogging for improving my ever declining fitness. A kind stranger yelled, “You’re doing great!” as I was wheezing after my first block. I was sitting on a bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 00:01

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 131

By luvs2spooge89 - 01/05/2013 14:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 902

You deserved it 76 504

By FatRunner - 05/11/2009 07:41 - New Zealand

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 963

You deserved it 5 276

By rolypoly - 05/03/2014 12:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 532

You deserved it 5 648

truehitman2010 0

Monday 25 April 2011 23:09

we need a Wtf? button

oliveindamiddle 0

Monday 25 April 2011 23:08

I don't think this is a fyl or a ydi... it's just one of those moments in life where you're like.. WTF. :)

Comments

emodude44 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 1:51

In todays pro feminist society, the dirty old man has been pushed aside. What replaces him? Why who else but the dirty old woman!

Ass_Kick 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:05

she probably has lots of experience. Get in there

nygiantsfan85 8

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:05

You should have asked her to help you. lol lol

bignasty29 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:07

least it was a woman. Could have been the herb the perv from family guy

mecaifine24 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:19

that's not even bad, that's just funny!!!

gr3ymask 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:36

That isn't so bad

oemgeezz 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:43

maybe she was being encouraging

oemgeezz 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:46

maybe she was being encouraging

nerdsgetmehot 22

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:49

You should have asked that cougar for her number. Hit that!

KushTaeKush 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:50

haha were you only rubbing your legs

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The Top

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 571

You deserved it 9 056

Today, my FWB and I were on a road trip. His dumbass got us pulled over by the cops, and he decided it was the perfect moment to start fingering me. Worse yet, I got off in between visits from the cop. He took his license and ticket with his fingering hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 601

The Top

Today, I went to a job interview. It was my last shot of getting a job before my savings run dry. It all went well until I was asked why I wanted to join the company. I got flustered and stuttered, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 675

You deserved it 9 381

Today, while cleaning, I found a grocery bag with thongs in it. I took them out, smiled and jokingly asked my wife, who never wears them, if she's keeping secrets from me. Turns out she isn't and the bag is not hers. It's belongs to my 76-year-old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 119

You deserved it 786

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 145

You deserved it 52 445

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work only to find out they make a clackety-clack noise with every step on the tiles in the company's corridors. My coworkers are now convinced I'm secretly training for a tap dance competition in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 145

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 774

You deserved it 347

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 512

You deserved it 2 818

Same thing different taste

Volunteering gone too far

Gotta start somewhere

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