Love: Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day:...

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 314

You deserved it 5 136

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 306

You deserved it 4 391

By asdfghjkl_12 - 25/02/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 777

You deserved it 6 715

By LinaLinaYeah - 09/12/2011 16:26 - Canada

Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 872

You deserved it 28 499

By Lilie - 17/12/2008 10:25 - France

Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 379

You deserved it 2 512

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 061

You deserved it 895

Maybe he is gay!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2017 05:00

Today, my boyfriend got back from a long wrestling tournament. As a nice surprise, I decided to give him a little show over FaceTime. As soon as I stripped down into my bra and underwear, he paused the screen and started surfing the internet for new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 67

By tarynfaye - 21/12/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 021

You deserved it 4 850

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 00:21 - Canada - Corner Brook

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 588

You deserved it 3 436

That's so lovely!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 392

You deserved it 4 033

By csgocockblock - 27/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Jenks

Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 447

You deserved it 2 727

slick5880 22

Sunday 2 September 2012 19:54

There is a special bond between a man and his nuts.

flailingCheese 5

Sunday 2 September 2012 19:56

Make a thong of peanuts.

Comments

yoyoyolol08 5

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:02

You don't know that OP is a woman. It could just as easily be a man.

PaulB123 11

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:02

You are both excited about nuts!

kittytub 12

Sunday 2 September 2012 21:58

nuts are the new whip cream!

saintsrocksocks 10

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:04

A man and his nuts are inseparable.

LiterOfCola 16

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:14

Repeat joke

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:19

Repeat nag. =P

saintsrocksocks 10

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:37

Who posted the exact comment that I posted?

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:41

The very first commenter did.

philbelfrage 13

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:08

There's something to be said about a man who loves his peanuts that much.

SCUBA_Diiver 3

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:10

Can't blame him.

jenniiienyc 5

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:13

They do sell candy thongs. He gets candy, and you get his excitement. Something to look into, OP! ;D

tnlander 20

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:13

Salty peanuts make him parched so that he'll have to find something wet to quench himself. Win win.

annie_nk 22

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:35

LMAO that was so wrong in all the right ways!

skullofdarkness 18

Monday 3 September 2012 4:11

Yeah, then he gets salt in OP's ******... I have to wonder if that would burn or what...

JustFMLME 7

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:16

Sooo.... Let me get this straight you have a gay boyfriend who loves nuts better than his boyfriend/girlfriend?. Seems legit and worth it.

mikeymayhem_87 15

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:31

I am surprised some tard hasn't made a deez nuts joke. Be prepared for those jokes, folks. I know I will be!!

Boob_fml 6

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:47

I hereby revoke your right to calling anyone a "tard", until you have changed your profile picture. You're calling the kettle black, pot.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:37

Oh god, he has peanuts!? I ******* LOVE peanuts! ME GUSTA.

mfischer 17

Sunday 2 September 2012 23:33

Two comments from you that are weird al quotes. Zero that are fallout related. I'm confused.

saintsrocksocks 10

Monday 3 September 2012 0:48

I totally read that in a chipmunk voice. Hell yeah.

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I set up my phone to take a time-lapse video of the sunset. When I checked the footage later, all I saw was me running back and forth because I’d forgotten my keys and wallet multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 417

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 097

You deserved it 7 572

The Top

Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 807

You deserved it 989

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 400

You deserved it 2 832

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box, "Face this side towards crowd for the best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on its side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 979

You deserved it 59 141

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 110

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 90

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 195

You deserved it 28 860

Same thing different taste

Good one

Maybe he is gay!

That's so lovely!

Top comments

Comments