Miscellaneous: Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet...

By woohoo420 - 04/04/2012 16:14 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 654

You deserved it 41 489

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fatti11 - 14/01/2017 18:00

Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 868

You deserved it 1 132

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 304

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 327

You deserved it 4 383

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 315

You deserved it 5 073

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 152

You deserved it 2 537

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 744

You deserved it 8 415

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 8 107

By ANNIEDBD - 23/03/2012 09:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 131

By Anonymous - 17/06/2017 22:00 - United States - Holland

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 598

You deserved it 1 059

By silentbutdeadly - 27/04/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 996

You deserved it 77 618

buck33 14

Wednesday 4 April 2012 22:31

No, it was the parakeet.

LuxAeterna_fml 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 22:51

14 - Are you high?

Comments

kimg0885 23

Thursday 5 April 2012 19:26

U give stoners a bad name

RedHotMom26 3

Thursday 5 April 2012 19:27

You're a loser. Just saying.

MustangMan29 13

Thursday 5 April 2012 19:47

YDI for not being able to handle your weed.

froggeh 4

Thursday 5 April 2012 21:31

you are more worried about your boyfriend hearing you farting than you arguing with a bird...?

Businessasusual 1

Thursday 5 April 2012 22:42

Can people smoke too much? Pot head..Can people eat too much? Fatass..Can people drink too much? Alcoholic.. Can people work too much? Workaholic Moderation is the key to happiness and success. For those who are arguing to try and prove a point on FML, maybe you need to find a few more hobbies.

jamaicanbunny 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 23:43

That's awesome

xdeadxradiox 0

Friday 6 April 2012 0:09

How unattractive...

americananarchy 3

Friday 6 April 2012 0:41

172: to insult your intelligence you have to be intelligent. 180: I've done alot more research than you have obviously because the reasons behind why it is illegal ARE government propaganda. Get your head out of your ass and look it up. Stop being such a bitch about something you obviously know nothing about.