Love: Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror... - FML

By Penkkis - 13/09/2011 06:11 - Finland

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 597

You deserved it 9 081

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By lolfayce - 06/12/2009 18:37 - United States

Today, I was at the costume rental shop I work at, when I saw a kid trying to walk out the door wearing what appeared to be one of our fake monster claws, so I chased him down and grabbed it. It wasn't. It was his prosthetic hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 658

You deserved it 36 441

By HDCkid - 05/04/2009 08:48 - United States

Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 584

You deserved it 62 927

Skittish

By mack - 25/10/2009 08:54 - Canada

Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 759

You deserved it 7 134

By KWM - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 138

You deserved it 39 065

By lonelynessinCA - 14/03/2011 18:31 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 019

You deserved it 9 785

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 6 244

Dude, you OK?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 00:23 - United States

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 670

You deserved it 6 042

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 14/12/2022 18:00

Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 816

By bottombarrel - 28/10/2014 14:07 - United States - Greenville

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 027

You deserved it 4 344

Poor choices were made

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 22:00

Today, I'm so lonely that I actually convinced myself it was by choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 183

Next

Top comments

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 13 September 2011 16:03

I have to hand it to you, that makes me want to give you the finger. Pathetic losers like you grate on me like nails on a chalkboard. Go somewhere warm and sunny with palm trees, find a cuticle guy, and have some fun! I'm not yelling though...think of this more as a slap on the wrist. Maybe you've left already since you know I'm right.

Llamassss 21

Tuesday 13 September 2011 16:01

Get a dog.

Comments

Jujubilee 1

Wednesday 14 September 2011 3:55

You should fall asleep holding the hand with your fingers intertwined...

TourettesGuy69 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 4:55

Forever alone

xcrazyforyouu 2

Wednesday 14 September 2011 5:08

those things scare me still

vandalnofx 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 5:54

That is beautiful. Hold my hand?

kenziem18 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 6:56

Can you say desperate?

ItsApril 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 9:30

Just go psycho and make your own human doll that will love you.

206Error 4

Wednesday 14 September 2011 14:39

That's just sad

lcau322 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 14:53

did it help?

bleucrayonz 4

Wednesday 14 September 2011 17:49

Creepy.

vzdevil 1

Wednesday 14 September 2011 22:26

must be female

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 109

You deserved it 3 775

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 1 265

The Top

Today, my neighbor told me to stop pushing the elevator buttons and opening doors with my feet. I bitched him out, because he's been making a huge issue out of it for months. Right after, I realized I forgot my keys inside and he's the only person around who could let me back into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 1 843

Today, I live in a college residence with 30 other girls in Ireland. One of them just got COVID, and we can't ask the landlord for much help because he just got Malaria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 88

Today, I got married to the love of my life, with whom I've been with for 5 years. It's also one of the 3 times a year where he's got so drunk that, instead of puking in the bed like last time, he puked all over the side of my car while I was driving us home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 357

Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 126

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 343

You deserved it 3 261

Today, I attended my wife's cousins wedding. While trying to help struggling teens with fireworks, I got shot in the eye by a commercial-grade firework. I spent the rest of the night in the ER, then headed to see the eye doctor. I have about 75% of loss of vision. Hopefully it's not permanent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 260