Kids: Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children...

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 22:33 - United States - Washington Crossing

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 807

You deserved it 7 451

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Same thing different taste

Misunderstood

By fuck - 18/03/2015 17:40 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 776

You deserved it 4 109

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 2 485

Shy boy

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 988

You deserved it 6 825

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 218

By ravenskater - 04/04/2011 02:47

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 444

You deserved it 6 508

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 110

By imustbegay - 09/05/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 361

You deserved it 10 405

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 564

You deserved it 10 548

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

By killmenow - 10/09/2012 17:52 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 276

You deserved it 77 687

BlackHawkSavior 28

Friday 1 January 2016 18:06

Ask him if his parents know about them, rude prick.

Soloman212 28

Friday 1 January 2016 18:06

I guess his parents didn't get the memo either

Comments

KILJOY310 11

Friday 1 January 2016 21:47

Should of yelled back: no, other options are available. Like pulling out! Oops didn't mean to bring up your families failures.

CliffyB03 28

Friday 1 January 2016 21:47

To be honest, you should control your children in public.

Fairyjoshy 13

Friday 1 January 2016 23:25

Someone should let your mother know.

CliffyB03 28

Saturday 2 January 2016 6:33

I'm 20. Hopefully I can control myself at this stage.

snowkittyyy 18

Tuesday 5 January 2016 13:24

Do you not know that children always argue at some point? It's not OP's fault geez

Camry_Girl420 18

Friday 1 January 2016 21:54

You should have told him too bad his mom didn't know how to use one

vix9002 15

Friday 1 January 2016 22:13

Shoulda responded with, "Yeah but I don't use them because I actually have a working marrige.

Jets4Life89 4

Friday 1 January 2016 22:25

Maybe control your damn kids then lady.

Govcheeze 18

Friday 1 January 2016 22:30

control your kids?

PinkasaurusRex 25

Friday 1 January 2016 22:38

That was rude of him. If you were trying to control your kids, there was no need for that. If you weren't trying, you definitely deserved it though.

Railroader 16

Friday 1 January 2016 22:42

Need a condom that help keep people's thoughts to themselves.

Grayness_ 26

Friday 1 January 2016 23:22

Well you should've been controlling your kids instead or just looking at them :).

Fairyjoshy 13

Friday 1 January 2016 23:23

Maybe you should control your brain instead of just using it to process every unfiltered thought you have.

mikepzz 27

Saturday 2 January 2016 19:20

I agree. Kids were probably noisy as ****

IIIIRowdy 5

Saturday 2 January 2016 0:12

So his parents forgot it?

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 85

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 550

You deserved it 11 302

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 183

You deserved it 2 613

Today, I went to hospital for a potential stomach bug. According to a CT scan, I also found out that I have uterine fibroids as well. Yay for being a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 108

Today, I work at a rural hospital where personnel is so short-staffed that we have to take double shifts without time to prepare food at home, and the place is too small to have a place to order food from. I lived off of sandwiches the entire week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 115

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 710

You deserved it 7 278

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 405

You deserved it 1 334